It had been a few more weeks since Taylor's release from the hospital, and though she was physically getting better, emotionally, the battle was still ongoing. She had moments of strength, where she felt like she could tackle anything, but they were often followed by waves of guilt and insecurity. It was late one night, the soft glow of the TV flickering as she lay in bed beside Travis. They weren't really watching the movie that played—both were lost in their own thoughts.
Taylor sighed softly, her head resting on Travis's shoulder as he gently stroked her hair. "I hate feeling like this," she murmured, her voice barely audible but heavy with emotion.
Travis glanced down at her, his hand stilling for a moment. "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice gentle but full of concern.
Taylor took a deep breath, staring at the screen but not really seeing it. "The guilt. Every time I eat... I feel guilty. Like I don't deserve it. It's like I'm letting myself down or something, and I don't know how to stop feeling like this."
Travis's heart ached as he listened to her, the weight of her words hanging in the quiet room. He knew how hard she was trying, how much she was pushing herself to get better, but the emotional scars ran deep. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before speaking, choosing his words carefully.
"Tay... have you thought about talking to someone? Like a therapist? Someone who can help you work through these feelings?" His voice was calm, but the suggestion carried a lot of meaning.
Taylor tensed slightly, shifting against him to look up into his eyes. "Therapy?" she asked, her tone soft but hesitant. She had always been the kind of person who wanted to fix things on her own, to be strong for herself and for everyone around her. Therapy was something she had never really considered before.
Travis nodded, meeting her gaze with sincerity. "Yeah. I think it could help. You've been through so much, and I know you've got me and your family, but sometimes... it's good to have someone who's trained to help you understand what you're going through. Someone who can give you tools to work through it."
Taylor stared at him for a long moment, her heart swelling with both fear and gratitude. She knew he was right. There was a part of her that had been struggling in silence, even with Travis by her side. The guilt, the fear—it was all so overwhelming, and maybe she did need help.
"Would you come with me?" she asked quietly, her eyes searching his face for reassurance. She didn't want to do it alone. She wasn't sure if she could.
Travis's face softened, and without hesitation, he nodded. "Of course, I would. I'll be there with you for as much as you want. If you need me in the room with you, I'm there. If you need to do it by yourself, I'll be right outside waiting for you. Whatever you need, Tay."
Tears welled up in Taylor's eyes, and she quickly blinked them away, trying to smile through the emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. "I don't know what I'd do without you," she whispered.
Travis leaned in, brushing his lips against her forehead before pulling her closer. "You'll never have to find out."
---
The following week, Taylor and Travis walked into the therapist's office together. It was a small, cozy space with warm lighting and comfortable furniture that instantly made Taylor feel more at ease. Travis squeezed her hand gently as they sat in the waiting room, silently letting her know he was there.
When the door to the office opened, a kind-looking woman with short brown hair and a soft smile appeared. "Taylor? Travis? You can come in now," she said, her tone inviting.
Taylor's heart raced as they stood and walked into the office, but the warmth of the space helped calm her nerves. They sat down on a couch opposite the therapist, and Taylor glanced at Travis, who gave her an encouraging nod.
The therapist, Dr. Greene, introduced herself and began with a few general questions about how Taylor had been feeling and what had brought her to therapy. At first, Taylor struggled to find the words, but as the session went on, she slowly began to open up.
"I just... I feel guilty all the time," Taylor admitted, her voice shaky. "Every time I eat, every time I let myself rest... it feels like I'm doing something wrong, like I don't deserve it. And I don't know how to stop feeling that way."
Dr. Greene listened carefully, her expression compassionate. "It sounds like you've been holding a lot of pressure on yourself, Taylor. These feelings of guilt—do you think they're tied to the idea that you're not living up to some expectation, either for yourself or for others?"
Taylor swallowed hard, her throat tight. "Yeah... I guess I feel like I'm supposed to be perfect, or at least better than this. I've always been in control of everything, but now... I feel like I've lost that control."
Travis sat quietly beside her, his hand resting on her knee, his presence a constant source of support. He knew this was hard for her, but he also knew how strong she was for confronting these feelings head-on.
Dr. Greene nodded thoughtfully. "It's understandable that losing that sense of control would be difficult. But remember, part of healing is giving yourself permission to not have all the answers, to not always be in control. It's okay to need help, and it's okay to take things one step at a time. Have you talked to Travis about these feelings before?"
Taylor glanced at Travis, guilt washing over her again. "Not as much as I should have. He's been there for me, but... I guess I didn't want to burden him with everything I'm feeling."
Travis gently squeezed her hand, his voice soft but firm. "You're never a burden, Tay. Not to me. I want to help you, but I can't do that if you don't let me in."
Dr. Greene smiled softly at their exchange. "It's clear that you have a lot of love and support from Travis, and that's going to be a big part of your healing process. But it's also important to be honest with yourself about how you're feeling. There's no shame in that. You deserve to take care of yourself, just like you take care of others."
Taylor nodded, a small sense of relief starting to settle in. It was going to take time, she knew that. But talking to Dr. Greene helped her see that it was okay to not have it all figured out, and that maybe—just maybe—she could learn to let go of some of that guilt.
---
After the session, Travis surprised Taylor by suggesting they stop for ice cream. They pulled into a small ice cream parlor, and for a moment, Taylor hesitated.
"Are you sure?" she asked quietly, her insecurities bubbling back up. "I don't know if I should."
Travis turned to her, his expression soft but firm. "Tay, you deserve to enjoy life, and that includes ice cream. This isn't about perfection—it's about balance. You're doing amazing, and this is just a small way to remind you that it's okay to treat yourself."
Taylor smiled, though a part of her still felt the familiar guilt gnawing at her. But as she stood beside Travis, watching him order their favorite flavors, she realized that maybe this was part of her recovery too—learning to embrace the moments of joy without letting the guilt take over.
They sat outside under the soft glow of the streetlights, sharing a quiet moment together as they ate their ice cream. For the first time in a while, Taylor allowed herself to simply *be* in the moment, to enjoy the simple pleasure of something as small as ice cream with the man she loved.
"Thank you," she whispered, her voice full of emotion as she looked at Travis. "For everything."
Travis smiled at her, his eyes full of love. "You don't have to thank me, Tay. I'm just glad I get to be here with you."
And as they sat there, Taylor realized that maybe this was what recovery really looked like—not just physical healing, but learning to let herself live again, one small step at a time.
Requests ~~~>
