Requested by: @USMCRules
"Yo, you ready, Trav?" Jason Kelce's voice boomed into his mic as he leaned back in his chair, hoodie up, ready to kick off the next *New Heights* episode. On the other side of the call, Travis Kelce adjusted his mic, chuckling.
"Born ready, bro. Let's do it," Travis said, smirking. "What's the first topic?"
Before Jason could answer, a series of screams erupted from the other side of his house. His face immediately contorted in confusion. "Hold up, hold up," he muttered, pulling off his headset. "What the hell...?"
From his seat, Travis could hear the chaos even over the call. The unmistakable sound of little girls shrieking echoed through Jason's mic.
"DAD! DAD!!"
Jason stood up, eyes wide. "Gimme a sec, Trav." He rushed toward the source of the noise as if his house was on fire.
Travis, now thoroughly amused, leaned in, shouting into the mic. "Yo, what's going on over there? You got ghosts?"
Jason's voice, faint in the background, yelled, "Ellie! What's happening?"
A pause. Then, more frantic screams. "THERE'S A CAT! A CAT!"
Travis broke out into uncontrollable laughter. "A cat?! Bro, did your daughters seriously just scream about a cat? Man, you better not let them hear about my stash of stuffed animals. They might have a meltdown!"
Jason appeared back on camera, looking disheveled, but still off-mic as he frantically scanned the scene outside his door. "Hold up," he muttered, squinting at something on the ground.
Suddenly, Ellie bolted into the room, face pale, eyes wide as saucers. "Daddy! There's a *poisonous* cat on our doorstep!"
Jason turned to Travis, completely flabbergasted. "Trav, this is your fault."
"How is this my fault?!" Travis laughed, hands up in mock innocence.
Jason rubbed his temples, muttering to himself. "I might've told the girls that cats were poisonous so they wouldn't beg for one."
There was a brief pause. Then Travis completely lost it. His laugh erupted like a volcano. "Bro, you told your kids that CATS are POISONOUS?!"
Jason groaned. "Look, man, it worked at the time! Until... well, apparently, now."
Travis could barely breathe he was laughing so hard. "Dude, you can't just go around lying to your kids like that! Cats?! Poisonous? That's gold."
Jason was having none of it. "Yeah, laugh it up, Trav. Hold on. Lemme deal with this."
He walked toward the front door, spotting the tiny bundle of fur curled up in a basket on his doorstep. There was a note attached to the side, scrawled in the ugliest, most unreadable handwriting known to mankind.
Jason snatched up the note, squinting as he tried to make out the words.
"Taylor picked her out. Hope you enjoy."
Jason's face fell. The handwriting was unmistakable. Only one person could write that badly.
"TRAVIS!" Jason bellowed, stomping back toward his desk.
On the other end of the call, Travis blinked, straightening up in his chair. "Uh oh. That's my 'I'm gonna murder my little brother' voice. What's up, bro?"
Jason dropped into his chair, holding up the crumpled note to the camera. "Did you seriously leave a kitten on my doorstep without telling me?"
Travis grinned. "Oh, you got her! Yeah, man, Taylor saw her at the shelter, thought your girls would love her. Surprise!"
Jason glared at the camera like he was about to reach through the screen. "I told my daughters cats were *poisonous*, you idiot! They're freaked out of their minds right now!"
Travis's face froze for a second before he burst into laughter again. "Wait, hold up. You mean they screamed because they thought the kitten was going to *kill* them?"
Jason groaned, rubbing his face. "Yes, Travis! I'm going to have to explain why Daddy is a pathological liar now, all thanks to you and your surprise kitten."
At that moment, Kylie appeared, leaning against the doorframe with their youngest daughter, Bennett, on her hip. She watched the whole scene unfold with a knowing smile. "Jason, you're really telling them *I'm* the one who said cats are poisonous?"
Jason turned toward her, still flustered. "I said it one time! To keep them from bringing stray cats into the house!"
Kylie shook her head, biting back laughter. "Well, now you get to fix this."
From the hallway, Ellie peeked her head around the corner. "Daddy... are you *sure* it's not poisonous?"
Jason threw his hands in the air. "It's not poisonous, Ellie! Uncle Travis and Aunt Taylor got it for you!"
The second Ellie heard the words "Aunt Taylor," her entire demeanor shifted. "Aunt Taylor sent it?!" she squealed, racing down the hallway like she'd been waiting her whole life for this moment.
Bennett, still clinging to Kylie, perked up. "Aunt Tay Tay?" she repeated, her little voice full of excitement.
Before Jason could process what was happening, Ellie darted past him and right out the front door, bending down to scoop up the tiny kitten in her arms. Her fear vanished instantly as she cradled the kitten, a huge smile spreading across her face.
Jason stared in disbelief. "Wait, hold on. You were just screaming that it was gonna poison you two seconds ago!"
Ellie, now completely infatuated with the kitten, just giggled. "But Aunt Taylor gave it to us, so it's okay!"
Jason shot a death glare at the camera. "I *hate* you, Travis."
Kylie walked over, smirking as she bent down to pet the kitten. "Guess that backfired on you, huh?"
Jason looked at his wife in exasperation. "Not helping, Ky."
Back on camera, Travis was practically in tears from laughing so hard.
Jason leaned into his mic, voice low and menacing. "I'm gonna get you back for this, Trav. You just wait."
"Oh, I'm so scared," Travis shot back, grinning like a kid who'd just gotten away with stealing cookies from the jar.
Meanwhile, Ellie had already named the kitten "Swiftie" and was proudly showing it off to Bennett. Bennett, eyes wide with awe, tried to gently pet the tiny furball, still occasionally glancing back at Jason for reassurance.
Kylie crouched down next to the girls. "What do you think, sweetheart?" she asked Bennett.
Bennett, nodding, looked at the kitten with big eyes. "Aunt Tay Tay's kitty?"
Kylie smiled, glancing up at Jason with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Yup. Aunt Taylor and Uncle Travis got it just for you."
Jason groaned, sinking back into his chair. "This is my life now. I'm stuck with a kitten. Great."
Kylie laughed, standing up and patting Jason's shoulder. "Just be glad they didn't send a whole litter."
Back on the podcast, Travis was still riding high on his victory. "Dude, this is legendary. You can't deny it. I'm the best uncle ever."
Jason rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, next time, don't leave surprise animals on my doorstep without a heads-up."
Travis leaned forward, smug as ever. "Nah, man, where's the fun in that?"
Jason shook his head. "Mark my words, Trav. Payback's coming. You'll never see it coming."
"Bring it on," Travis shot back, full of confidence.
As the girls continued fawning over the kitten, and Kylie gave Jason that knowing, satisfied smile, Jason couldn't help but laugh, despite himself.
It wasn't the disaster he expected, but one thing was for sure: Travis had it coming next.
And Jason was already planning his revenge.
Requests ~~~~~>
