The Principal 2

Chapter 2

-Niall-
-May 10th-
6:00am
"Niall get up," a voice whispered. I looked up to see Harry looking down on me. "We were going to go for a jog. Remember?"

I rub my eyes and sit up slowly. I purposely didn't set my alarm, hoping Harry would see me sleeping and leave. I wasn't in the mood, but maybe this could keep my mind off of things.

"I'll wait for you in the living room," he says and walks out. We usually go early so we don't run into anyone and plus it's much calmer. I grab some shorts and a t-shirt and quickly put that on. I slip on some socks and slouch out of my room.

"I got you some food while coming here," he says, flipping through the channels on the TV. I don't say anything as I walk into the kitchen, seeing a brown paper bag on the table. There's a warm croissant and a water bottle. The croissant feels so good against my cold hands. I miss the warmth she used to bring me. I hope she is warm right now. Safe.

I savor every bite of the croissant while taking occasional sips of the water bottle. It's nice to have something other than liquor once in awhile. The burning sensation in my throat gets old after awhile. I clean the table off and when I'm finished, go over to where I keep my sneakers. I sit down to tie them as Harry watches me.

He turns off the television. "I packed some bottles of water and snacks if we get hungry," he announces, standing up and heading towards the door. I nod and follow him out of my flat. The sun is still finding it's place in the sky as I look at the light blue dome around us. Birds sing and the wind blows through the trees. It's very peaceful. Calming.

I start to jog and so does Harry. We head towards the woods like we always do. I listen to the sound Harry's bag makes. There's a crunching of wrappers and bobbling of the water bottles. He probably brought granola bars again. I'm praying it's the chocolate one rather than the stupid raisin. I hate raisins.

"How'd you sleep?" Harry asks, breaking the silence.

I clear my throat, "fine," I lie. I only got around 4 hours a sleep. Better than nothing I guess.

"I didn't sleep too well. I just thought too much last night which got me around 5 hours of sleep," Harry tells me, looking back at me. I speed up so I'm right next to him, our feet hit the ground in unison.

I want to ask what he was thinking about, but what if it's about her? "That sucks," I answer, looking down. I wonder if the boys think about her often. Do they worry just as much? I don't want to ask, but my curiosity gets the best of me.

"What were you thinking about?" I ask, looking back over at Harry. His emerald eyes look off into the distance as his eyebrows scrunch up.

"Well everything really. Tour, Kirstin, my family..." he trails off, not looking at me.

"And..." I push. Maybe I want to hear her name to feel the bitter sweet pain. Maybe I want to hurt.

"Jessica," he answers quietly. There it is. The aching in my chest again. My throat clogs up as I nod my head.

I slow down as Harry matches my pace. We gradually get slower until we stop. My head is spinning and I lean over onto a tree, emptying my stomach next to it. Harry rubs my back as I finish. He brings me over to some benches as I spit out the remaining puke, the vile taste still fresh in my mouth.

"If you need to talk about anything, you know I'm here for you," he tells me. I nod my head. He hands me a water as I slowly sip it down. I don't know how to put what I'm feeling into words. It's impossible to describe.

I take a seat on the bench and stare at the scenery in front of us. Birds dance along the calm lake. This looks awfully familiar, I remember it as one of the places I took Jess when she got into a huge fight with one of her friends and needed to calm down. I'd die just to have one more day with her. Alone. Just the two of us.

I fight back the tears, though. I have to show Harry that I'm strong. Like I said, he is going through enough and he has to trust that I'm getting better.

"Do you want to go back home?" He asks once I've finished my water bottle. I feel like he expected to stop short. That we wouldn't be able to have a full jog.

"Yeah," I say, nodding my head. His mouth goes into a flat line as he nods, helping me up.

"I guess we can just walk. Want to do anything when we get back?" He questions as we start walking again. I shake my head. I don't want to do anything.

The walk back was silent, excluding the chirping of birds and rustling of leaves. I've seemed to have pissed off Harry because when we return to my house, he only stays another hour before leaving. I don't blame him. I'm no fun. No one enjoys my company.

I head into the bathroom to take a shower since I've mustered to sweat a little bit. I stare at the anti-depressants on the counter. Just take them. I shake my head and turn on the water. I strip off my clothes and step into the ice cold shower. I sit down and cradle my head on my legs. The tears come. One after another after another. Here I am, crying by myself once again.

I could've saved her. If I wasn't so lazy and I went with her to the hospital that day. What if I warned her quicker? I just got her back and then I lost her just as quick. She was ripped away from me again. I try to stop blaming myself for Jessica's kidnapping, but there were so many things I didn't do. If I wasn't so lazy, she would be in my arms.

I grab the shampoo and lather it through my hair. Some drops in my eyes, causing me to curse and furiously whip them.

"You can't do anything right," I mutter to myself in hatred. I wash my body and quickly rinse off. I grab the towel and angrily dry myself off. I slip my boxers on and march into the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge. I pop it open and take one long gulp. My throat stings, but I don't stop until the can is empty.

I let out a frustrated groan and toss the can across the room. "Why can't you do anything right?!" I yell, pulling my hair. I speed into my room and smash my head into the pillow as I let out several loud sobs.

"Fuck this world," I sob, crawling under the covers. Jessica would calm me down. She always has.

I get up and grab this case I keep under my bed. It's a wooden box I keep some stuff that's important to me in.

I slide it open and look through the several photos of Jess and I. There's one from the time we went to a local fair. We ate like a million cannolis that day and I threw up after, while she laughed at me. Another time I took her to the aquarium and we got mobbed once we exited. The picture was of her and I, standing in front of a ginormous shark she named Sebastian. There were countless other photos, all with us laughing. When she comes back, I want to take her to all these places again. I want us to be happy again and right where we left off. I just want her back.