One Temptation

It Hurts (Chapter 36)

Song is 'Without Me' by Halsey.

This chapter is just kinda of a filler through emotions but an important one for what happens in the next couple of chapters.

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West's POV

Lying in the dark, staring at the ceiling, I couldn't get her out of my head.

I'd been a complete asshole to her all day.

Hell, the past few days. And I knew it.

But I couldn't stop.

It was like some twisted defence mechanism, like if I kept pushing her away, I wouldn't have to deal with the shitstorm of feelings swirling inside me every time I looked at her.

Feelings I wasn't supposed to have. Feelings that made me want to grab her and tell her the truth, tell her everything.

But I couldn't. I wouldn't.

Because I'd seen what happened when I let people get too close. I'd watched it all go to hell before.

Mads wasn't any different. If I let her in, let her see the real me, she'd end up hating me just like everyone else eventually did.

So, I shut her out. Pretended like I didn't care. Gave her the cold shoulder. Anything to keep her at arm's length.

But deep down, it was killing me.

I hated how she looked at me today. Like I was a stranger. It almost felt worse then losing her.

And I was pushing her away.

But that's what I wanted, wasn't it? To keep her away?

Except it wasn't.

The truth was, I missed her.

I missed her biting comebacks, the way she'd roll her eyes when I teased her, the way she'd try to act like she didn't care when I got under her skin.

I missed the way she made me feel alive, like everything wasn't so fucking heavy all the time.

But I couldn't let her know that. I couldn't let her in.

Because if she got too close, I'd lose her.

And that? That was a thousand times worse than any wall I could put between us.

And I'd learnt it.

But that night, when she'd come downstairs, looking like she was barely holding it together, it had been harder than ever to keep my distance.

I wanted to reach out, to comfort her, to tell her I wasn't as heartless as I was acting. That I still wanted to hold her, hug her as she tried holding it together.

But I couldn't. I didn't trust myself. So, instead, I acted like an asshole. Because it was easier. It was safer.

But when I saw the hurt in her eyes, that flicker of something breaking inside her, it hit me harder than I thought it would.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to care this much.

But I did.

And now, I was stuck.

Stuck between wanting to let her in and being terrified of what that would mean.

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Madison's POV:

It felt like betrayal.

I'd never imagined that silence could hurt this much.

The way West had been treating me lately—like I was nothing more than a ghost in the room—was worse than anything I could have anticipated.