One Temptation

Night Swimming (Chapter 50)

I just need to take a moment to say that I can't believe that Liam Payne is gone ❤️‍🩹

When I heard the news at school, I didn't believe it. A friend told me, and I had to search it up myself—and even then, it didn't feel real.

I made the mistake of opening Instagram, and seeing the posts from his former bandmates broke me, I literally cried.

As a fan of his music and a huge One Direction fan, this hit me hard. It's the first time a celebrity's death made me cry. Every time I listen to their music now, it's going to feel different.

Rest in peace, Liam ❤️

**********

Everyone was exhausted from today, we had come back from the creek at evening and it looks like no one had any energy left.

Cole and Lia said goodnight and went to their tent hand-in-hand, Cole basically already sleeping.

Jake had passed out not long after, leaving Em to nudge him awake and drag him to bed.

I sat there, staring into the flames as the night grew colder. Eventually, I said a quick goodnight to Em who I shared a tent with, she said she'll be there.

So I slipped into my sleeping bag and tried to relax.

But no matter how much I shifted or adjusted the covers, sleep just wouldn't come.

My mind was running in circles—thoughts about everything. It was like my brain wouldn't shut off.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force it all away, but it didn't work, I was frustrated with myself.

After what felt like hours of tossing and turning, I gave up. Sleep wasn't happening.

I crawled out of the tent, hoping some fresh air would help clear my head. I walked a bit further away from the camp, finding a spot where I could sit alone under the stars.

But the thoughts didn't stop.

It was just thoughts. It was him.

I was so lost that I didn't hear footsteps behind me until they stopped right next to where I was sitting.

I glanced up, and there was West.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked softly, sitting down beside me.

I shrugged, "Yeah, something like that."

I couldn't take it anymore. The silence. The thoughts. I spoke up before I could stop myself.

"You couldn't sleep either?"

"Nah," he finally said, sounding... off. "Too much... thinking." he shifted.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, and hummed in response.

I wanted to know what he was feeling and what his thoughts were.

"You ever wonder why we're like this?" The question slipped out before I could stop it. But I didn't withdraw it, I waited for an answer because I wanted one.

He looked at me again, with a look that either told me he didn't want to answer, or he knew the answer but didn't want to say it.

"Like what?" his voice was quiet.

"You know... why we never..." I trailed off, "Why we keep acting like we don't..."

His jaw tensed. "Like we don't what, Mads?"

I didn't know how to answer him. Not directly, at least.

We both knew what I wanted to ask, but we were both avoiding it.