Our Moments

chapter 67

Itzel's Pov
After the incident , Harry and Valeria offered me to stay the night . I accepeted , because I didn't want to deal with anyone at the moment. I closed the door to the room , and went over to the bed. It was a simple room , with its dresser and bed.Another door leading to the bathroom. The bedding white , as I took a closer look. I sat down , sighing. Laying down on my back , out of all people. He had to do it, the love I had for him burned to ashes. I never once had a man hit me , but I wasn't going to let that slide and forgive him. He's hurt me , and he's hurt my friends. I felt a pang in my chest , as I remembered his hand colliding with my cheek he was furious . I shouldn't of said anything, I thought - but then again remembered that I shouldn't be treated like this . As I looked up at the white ceiling it began to look blurry , tears started rolling down my cheeks. I don't know what to do , what am I going to tell Alex ? And my mom ? The fact that he didn't even think twice about slapping me clearly showed me that he never loved me how he said he did. I sobbed , bringing my hands to my face. I winced as I pressed on my cheek. I took my shoes off , standing up I headed to the bathroom . Turning the shower on , as I looked at the mirror my makeup was smeared on my face , my cheek was pink and purple , and I had dried blood on the side of my lip. The tears rolled down my cheeks , I don't understand. I don't . I hate myself for hurting so much , but I love him with everything I have. He was everything I needed , and now its all gone. I stripped out of my clothes , checking the waters temperature. Getting in , the hot water running down my back. I grabbed the shampoo , immedietly as I opened it - it smelled of pomegranates squirting some into my hand. I began to lather my hair , washing it. Rinsing it out , I lathered the soap onto my body . When I was done I rinsed off , adding conditioner to my hair. The tears flowed freely , I couldn't find any strength to stop them. I turned the shower head off , pushing the curtain to the side , I grabbed a towel wrapping it around my body , and one in my hair. I headed out into the room , seeing a pair of pajamas along with lingerie. I'll thank Valeria , later . I made the sure the door was locked and changed . I didn't even have the strength to untangle my curly hair so I left it as it was . I grabbed my phone and charger out of my purse and slipped into bed . The only reason I was charging it was because I had to talk to Trisha to pick Alex up .
Once I plugged in my phone it turned on . I saw that I had missed calls and texts from zayn . My eyes began to water again . I scrolled pass them and saw that Nick tried contacting me as well - wondering if I was okay . My heart fell even deeper in my stomach because of the fact that he was worried about me . For some reason it made me feel guilty and I almost slapped myself when the thought occurred to me for a second that maybe I DID earn the slap for becoming friends with Nick . I couldn't take it anymore and threw my phone on the dresser as I turned my back towards the door . I could feel the soreness of my eyes - but yet I was still crying . A knock interrupted my thinking .
"Itzel - it's me Liam" he said coming into the room and coming closer to the bed . I didn't have the force to being myself to face any of the boys right now .
" I just wanted to make sure your lip stopped bleeding and you're okay " his voice said shakily . I slowly turned back to him and he was sitting on my bed . His eyes glassy - tears threatening to spill .
"I'm okay " I said trying to calm myself again . Yet the tears didn't stop .
Liam pulled me up to his chest and hugged me carefully, his arms around me protectively.
"I'm so sorry - I didn't mean for him to hurt you" he said making me cry again as I heard his sniffles to control himself . I carefully buried my head into his shirt and tried hiding myself so he wouldn't cry even harder . My heart was to the floor right now . My head was pounding from all the tears I had cried today. My vision was hazy , mentally I was drained and emotionally I was a mess . Anger , sadness , confusion , guilt and so many other emotions filled me . I tried calming myself down as I felt Liam stroking my head carefully . My heart rate slowed down and my eyes became extremely heavy to keep open . And without another minute going by- I was fast asleep .
*next morning*
I woke up sprawled all over my bed . I was alone and my body ached along with my face . I woke up confused on where I was and why I was here . I headed by the door and stopped by a mirror above one of the night stands in the room as I saw my reflection . And I felt all at once it hit me , I had remembered the night before . My eyes started watering as I slowly brought my hand to my cheek and lip . A purplish-blue bruise adorned my cheek as a scar on my lip . A tear fell making me snap out of my day dream state and my eyes burned slightly as the year fell . My eyes were all red a puffy - I seriously think I may become sick . I walked away from the mirror and headed quickly to the bathroom to wash my teeth and face . After a while of washing my face so I wouldn't hurt myself and my teeth I went back into the room and made my bed . I looked around the room to see if there was some clothes and all I found was a hoodie , a sports bra and some spandex . It would be enough , I changed quickly and grabbed my phone and charger . I grabbed my shoes I had on yesterday and headed downstairs . It was somewhat noisy downstairs and I really didn't feel like talking to anyone . As I walked down the stairs my legs felt sore and a wave of tiredness washed over me . I walked towards the center of the noise realizing everyone was quieting down and started staring at me . Talk about awkward.
"Good morning guys " I said lazily while everyone returned the saying to me . I looked around as Harry was making breakfast and the boys and Valeria were eating . I spotted my purse and keys and headed towards them .
"Um - I'm gonna get going . I have to pick up Alex " I said heading back towards the door .
"Wait you can't leave without breakfast " Harry said pouting while pushing a plate full of food towards me . Honestly the thought of eating was making my stomach do flips and I didn't wanna risk vomiting now .
"Thank you so much but I'm good " I said with a small smile .
"Okay -" he pouted making me laugh a little .
"Okay , I'll see you guys later " I said as I quickly said bye to Valeria and all of the boys as I headed out. I walked slowly towards my vehicle and got in quietly. I sat and recollected my thoughts for a little bit before I started driving to Trisha's house . After about half an hour I had arrived and my head was vacant and full all at once . I just wanted to get Alex and go home . I walked up to the big beautiful house adorned with flowers and some of Alex's toys . I swear they love spoiling him . I walked up and knocked slowly . I was welcomed with a huge smile from Yazer before it turned into a frown . Fuck man how did I forgot about the bruise!? I should've put makeup over it .
"What happened !? " he asked pulling me into his house protectively to take a closer look .
"I would love to explain - but , I - it's a long story " I said quietly .
"Well , Trisha is in the living room with Alex . Make yourself at home Itzel and we can talk about this " he said leaving me alone while he went to the kitchen . I slowly walked towards the living room while looking down at my phone . Messages upon messages from the boys and my mom . Well how great .
*Zayn's p.o.v*
"Alex be careful - you're gonna hurt yourself " I said while I watched my son run around to chase my youngest sister .
"Sorry dada " he said coming over and giving me a kiss to forgive him . I smiled a little , if only it were that easy .
"Zayn ." My older sister said snapping me out of my thoughts .
"Sorry, what were you saying?" I said looking up at her .
"I was just asking where Itzel was ." She said noticing my emotions rising to the surface .
"Honestly ? " I asked . This was gonna come out sooner or later .
"Yes duh " she said .
"Last time I saw her she was with the boys and Valeria " I said biting my lip a little trying to make myself forget what I did .
"Why, shouldn't she be with you ?" My younger sister asked .
"No - I - I don't deserve her " I said tearing up a little .
"Woah woah woah honey , what happened ? Why are you saying that ?" My mom said sitting next to me and rubbing my back .
"Mom I'm so stupid " I said covering my face with my hands .
"Zayn - what happened . You know you can talk to me sweetie" she said hugging me .
"Mom - I - I'm a monster ." I said remembering Itzels face after what happened . Terrified and hatred and more all in one . All in the sweet sweet , beautiful face that I know and love . A tear fell and another shortly after that . How could I ?
"Zayn . You're scaring me , what happened. You look like a mess , and look like you've been crying all night . Can I at least know so I can help ?" my mom asked worried .
"Mom - I . We had just gotten back from the hospital and - well stuff happened and all of the boys and Valeria and Itzel got into an argument with me - " I said crying
"Well sweetie - it was just an argument . I'm sure if you two talk things could work out " she said calmly .
"That's not the end of it mom - I - I was so mad - and she was there - and I just " I said crying harder
"Zayn stop and compose yourself please , I don't know what you're saying to me " my mom said a bit annoyed . I cried for a good two minutes without a response to calm myself down . Finally when I thought I could speak again I said it .
"I - I slapped Itzel "
"MOMMA!" Alex interrupted while running towards the entrance of the living room . My heart dropped .
"Sorry I'm late Trisha it's been -" Itzel started as I saw her . She looked sick , bruised cheek and lip, blood shot eyes and a red nose probably from sniffling so much . I caused this . How could I ?
"It's - it's okay honey come make yourself at home " my mom said wiping her tears and walking over to her .
"Um - I - it's fine I can actually just go now " Itzel said taking glances at me .
"Itzel wait . Please " I said standing up and walking towards her . As my mom walked out of the room with Alex leaving us alone .
"Zayn - I - I'm not in the mood to talk . Can I just go ?" She said almost in defeat already . Her appearance and voice shattered my heart . I am a fucking monster if I did this to someone I love .
"No . Please , just 5 minutes that's all I'm asking for " I said , my eyes getting ready again . She didn't say anything and just nodded , this whole time she didn't look into my eyes and it killed me .
"I wanna start off by saying that I know I was being a complete dick , and I never should've acted on impulse ... And its been on my mind all this time that I've hurt you .. And I won't ever forgive myself for that . You have no idea how bad my heart hurts seeing you like this . The fact that you won't look at me hurts Itzel " I said shakily trying to get her attention . She thought for a second .
"Zayn if you can't even forgive yourself what the fuck do you think I'm gonna do !?" She said hushed still looking down . But I can tell her voice was filled with hatred .
"I - I'm fucking sorry Itzel ! Please look at me !" I said pleadingly as I lifted her chin . Her eyes still in a different direction .
"Okay is that it ? Is sorry going to fix this ?" She said finally looking into my eyes but I regret asking her to . Her eyes where glassy but still filled with madness . She motioned towards her face that I hurt .
"Itzel - I'm sorry !" I cried as a tried holding her but she would just push me away . Suddenly I felt a tiny pair of arms on my leg . I looked down and it was Alex .
"Why is dada crying momma ?" He asked . I picked him up and reassured him I wasn't when I really was . I looked back at Itzel who was putting a fake smile on for him .
"Will I still be able to see him " I asked quietly while studying her .
"I - I'm not sure yet . This is all confusing and I need time to think " she said fighting back the tears . First her and now my only child !? Really? What the fuck was I thinking !? The tears welled in my eyes as I looked at him . He squeezed his small hands around my neck .
"No more crying dada " he said breaking my heart . I stayed quiet for a second .
"Alex you wanna stay with your dad for the rest of the day today honey ?" Itzel said rubbing his back .
"Yes !" He said excitedly as he looked at me .
"But no crying!" He said making me chuckle for a second as he wiped my year .
"I just love you a lot buddy " I said engulfing him in a bone crushing hug . I let him go as I calmed down .
"I'll see you later sweetie - go and play ." Itzel said giving him a hug and kiss as I put him down . We both had to play it cool around him .
"Okay but what happened.. Here ?" He asked as he touched Itzels face as she flinched .
"I'm so sorry momma !" He said almost at the verge of tears because he thought he hurt his mother . Itzel laughed while hiding her tears .
"It's okay baby - and I'm fine don't worry . Now go and play baby . I'll see you later " she said giving him another kiss as he left .
Itzel started making her way towards the door .
"Thank your mother for me , and if you need to drop him off later just call me my mom " she said showing that she literally wanted nothing to do with me .
"Why do I have to talk to her ? Why can't I just talk to you ?" I said wanting to know her response .
"Why else Zayn ? Do you really think things can be the same ?" She asked while crossing her arms .
"Baby - we can work this out . Please , we always do!" I said getting closer to her .
"Number one don't call me that , and number two that was always the stupid mistake I made . And trust me I won't do it again . " she said basically roping my heart out . I swallowed the knot that was forming in my throat .
"Zayn you know what . I spent all night crying and wondering what the hell I did wrong to deserve this . I'm too tired and confused on what we can do to figure this out . Please . I need time ." She said walking away again . I stopped her before she went far . And held onto her arms as I brought myself closer to her .
"Itzel you didn't do anything , it was all my fault!" I said tearing up .
"And now what am I suppose to do !?" She said holding her tears back but she couldn't because they fell out .
"Fine I will give you time for us . But for Alex's sake don't take him away " I said settling .
"Zayn , my hopes are up for you and me but I don't want Alex to grow up without a father so you'll be able to see him" she said reliving me and stabbing me in the heart all at once .
"Thank you so much " I said crying, nothing was going to be the same . She turned on her heel and walked away from me and opened the door to leave .
"Wait " I said catching up to her .
"I'm so sorry but-" I said leaning into her lips as she tried pushing me away . I felt her hot tears come down her face and her arms push me away but that didn't stop me . I kissed her with such passion because in my heart I knew this was my last time I would be kissing her lips. The lips of the one and only love of my life .