Our Moments

chapter 43

Harrys Pov

I'm lost . I feel empty. Both of my worlds are gone . All because of me. Who knows when I'll see them . But I know I will see them soon . Valeria left not telling me anything about where she was headed. Im an absolute mess. I sigh .

I get up out of my bed and do what I have been doing ever since Valeria has left.

I headed to the bathroom and saw myself. My hair was all over the place , my eyes were bloodshot red , I felt horrible.

I feel a pain in my chest , like it seriously hurts badly. I reached out for the bathroom drawer and saw the razor.

I dont know what has gotten into me , but it takes the pain away.Just like the last times she left .No one cares about me anyway. I held the blade to my wrist and slid it over my skin , blood spirting out . I held in a deep breathe , watching

the blood roll down my skin . I put my wrist under the sink and washed off the blood. It burned but it felt good. I have no one , ever since they left my life has gone downhill . Ive been cutting since they left which was about a week ago. The boys hardly ever talk to me anymore.

I sighed , as I turned on the shower faucet. I stripped down from my boxers and got in . The water burning me once I got in , it was burning hot.

Everything started to come back to me.

When I first asked out Valeria , her eyes glowed when I asked her and she said yes , that night - the first time we made love , her skin so warm and soft , she was beautiful.

When she left that time I was lost as I an now . But knowing she was pregnant with Darcy was a need for me to see them.

When she came back she trusted me . I promised her we would never be apart. She had Darcy then . My other reason to live , I actually have a daughter. My beautiful Darcy , shes gone now too.

I opened my eyes to realize that hot tears were rolling down my face .

Im a fucking idiot. I dont deserve them . Valeria is the best thing that has ever happend to me. All because I - I killed her baby . A pain in my gut started when I remembered. Seeing her on the floor , standing up and she was bleeding uncontrollably , to when I found out she had a miscarriage.

Im a fucking monster , I killed the little kid , I know I sound pretty mean . But its my fault , everything is.

It mightve not been my baby , but I wouldve treated it as if it were mine. I just cant believe what I did.

When Valeria said she would never forgive me pains me . I dont deserve her forgiving me . I dont deserve to live. I dont.

I finished washing my hair and washing my body and got out , wrapping a towel around my waist.

I headed out the bathroom , and to my closet , I chose a pair of black basketball shorts, and a red sweater . Im not letting anyone see my scars . I grabbed my boxers letting the towel fall and put them on , as well as the clothes I chose . I put on a pair of socks , along with my black nike shoes . I picked up the towel and hung it up in the bathroom .

Louis had invited me over his apartment today since we havent talked .

I had agreed since I cant stay in my room for the rest of my life.

***

As I arrived to Louis there were about 4 other cars there including Louis. The rest of the boys are probably here.