She fell in love. She couldn't be with him. She married someone else. She fell in love again. Then she fell apart.
•••
Iraj Kazmi knows only one thing, that she's always right. Then life proves her wrong...
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"So then?" Iraj set her chin on her hand which was tilted upwards on the elbow.
"Then what?" Azfar was busy finishing his breakfast before he left for work. His wife sitting in front of him across the table.
"Then if not Zeenat who will be your second wife?" Azfar paused to take a deep breath and then sighed out loud. She was still stuck with her amazing plan of his second marriage. He knew that since last year her divorce plan had lasted for a month in her mind this might take more time than just one day to evaporate from her thoughts.
"I'm getting late for work." He pushed the plate forward on the table and stood up.
"Okay but then do think today who the new wife will be, I want to check if she and I will be able match our vibes or not—"
"Have a good day Iraj. Don't break too many things. Bye." He didn't even bother to listen to her and walked out of the dining room.
"Aisay non-serious attitude se thodi koi ladki mil sakti hai ab. Wese toh bohat khush hotay hain jab bhi koi khatoon inse akar milti hai aur ab uninterested bannay ka drama kar rahay hain. Mujhse chhupa ke kya milega. Huh!" She was talking to herself grumpily and then moved to leave the room as well.
(With this kind of non-serious attitude how can he get a girl now. Usually he's always so happy whenever any lady meets him and now he's pretending to be uninterested in front of me. What will he get by hiding things from me. Huh!)
The moment she turned she saw him standing there, with a big smirk on his face. Azfar stepped towards her and stopped all up close to her face, "Kuch bhi nahi chhupaonga mien apni biwi se. We'll go for our dinner tonight, alright." His hand touched her face lightly and he left.
(I won't hide anything from my wife.)
Iraj was standing in the same spot blinking for some time till she finally felt like she could comprehend it all, "Iska matlab apni second wife ki choice dinner pe reveal karengay."
(It means he's going to reveal his choice for his second wife at the dinner.)
If only Azfar knew that her insane ideas were only a coping mechanism for her to not show her jealousy. She deep down had told herself she didn't have the rights to feel jealous and which is why she would say such things to hear his response every time. Last year a client of his, Resham, had behaved like she was obsessed with him and Iraj had witnessed it herself when the woman had brought flowers for him every single day and at times even tried to hold his hand which Azfar had dodged easily, the last part being unknown to Iraj. So she had started the divorce plan and her ideas for making it happen in a positive and cheerful way.
The more she had made her heart memorize that she was not supposed to behave like his wife, her heart would not obey. In order to not let her emotions become visible to him she had come up with such things. She knew it made her feel relieved whenever he'd get annoyed at the mentioning of the word divorce itself.
And right now she wanted her heart to stop feeling things as well. Therefore, she kept on repeating the anthem for his second marriage in her mind. She went to water her plants again and then went to lie down again before she could shower, she suddenly felt uneasy and tired.
Ignoring it she tried to busy herself with choosing her outfit for the dinner. Her mind started to wonder that her first ever dinner with just her husband at a restaurant was going to be about who he will choose for his second marriage. She kept on frowning while her hands kept ramming the hangers in her closet to pick out a dress.
"Why should I look pretty? Why? I shouldn't." She felt her fingers tremble as she complained to herself. Her eyes landed on a lime colored one piece. It was an ankle length dress she had bought for herself from Milan, she had not worn it before but then again, she had too many others she had not worn before either.
She pulled the dress out and then selected a bag and shoes to pair it with. "I'll look like a fool in front of that woman who will be loved by him. I will, I will. But it's okay. I have a big heart. I can give them space, I'll, I'll go to baba's when mom is traveling, or maybe I can go for a trip to Rome Hamna wanted me to go for with her." She rambled on and on before going inside the bathroom for a shower.
She turned the faucet on and stood under the shower, her fingers were growing numb and she became agitated all of a sudden. It was like even getting done with the shower was too tiring right now. She just wanted to sit on the floor, this was very unusual and unnatural for her.
Forcing herself to wash up as quickly as possible she dragged her feet to move out of the bathroom. Fidgeting for a while with her dress to bring it above her head she finally wore it after much trouble to push her hands into the sleeves. Iraj was panting already.
Trying to smooth her dress she thought of splashing her face with water before moisturizing it and adding some blush to her cheeks. Stepping inside she took a deep breath and instead of the tap on the wash basin she turned on the shower and then before the entire pouring of water would break out she started to move her fingers to turn it off and her hand slipped, she felt her body jerk and tripped on the floor as the water kept on dripping over her, soaking her dress. Iraj felt her eyes closing and she lost her sense of sight and everything else.
When her eyes opened next she was on a bed. Not a bed in her bedroom. It was the hospital. How did she get there? Letting her eyes to set their focus in working she tried to observe her surroundings. Iraj saw her cleaning lady outside the room talking to a man. Her head was light and heavy at the same time. She sat up taking a deep breath. She was in the same dress she had chosen for her dinner.
The man outside now turned and entered the room. He passed a curt smile at her and then flipped some pages of a file that was in his hands. "Mrs Zaman, that's your name if I'm not wrong?"
"Uh, yes, Iraj Zaman." She tried to not sound too shocked.
"I'm doctor Rameez. I'm a neurologist. How long have you felt like your control over gripping things has been loosening?"
"Uh, I don't understand. Why am I here?" She was confused not understanding what was being asked.
"You were found collapsed inside your bathroom by your maid. She brought you here. We ran a few tests. We'd like to ask you a few things before we give you a final diagnosis." He stated.
"Diagnosis? What do you mean? I'm completely fine. Must've been a tiring day for me which is why I probably fainted." She was furrowing her brows and taking deep breaths.
"I'm afraid that's not what happened Mrs Zaman. You were brought here when your body was having an episode of tremors."
Iraj had felt like she was being pranked.
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