The Wake.

27

"What do you mean?" She blinked trying to keep herself calm.

He stepped back a little and then sighed, "I don't want to be away from you, I told you I just want to see you. A husband can do that at least right?"

"You never-it doesn't matter." Iraj said in the same tone she had been using when he'd returned from his last work trip. She moved away and sat down on the small wooden seat in front of the mirror.

"Iraj," He knelt down in front of her and was about to say something but said something else, "Mien apni jaan se bohat saari baatien karna chahta hoon, par tab jab woh mujhe baat karnay ke kaabil samjhay."

(I want to talk to my love about many things, but only when she thinks I'm worthy of being spoken to.)

"Right, I'm going for a shower." She shrugged her shoulders and stood up not caring about a word he had said, "Where's the bathroom?"

"There." He pointed towards one of the doors in the room.

Iraj went towards it and then opened it going inside. A few moments later she came back out, "There's no taps, only electronic configurations, I don't know the settings."

"Uh, yeah sorry I forgot to tell you." He walked into the bathroom and explained the settings to her and left.

Iraj took a short shower and came out in a towel wrapped around her looking for her luggage. There were no bags inside the room and Azfar wasn't there either. She felt annoyed and angry now. Had he done it on purpose? She felt herself shiver due to the cold and her feet were shifting their temperature as well as she sat on the bed waiting for Azfar to either send her clothes or show up himself so she could ask him to get the bags.

A few minutes turned into an hour and Iraj was now holding her lips to stop wobbling and break into a cry, but her effort was not enough, she felt tears going down her cheeks automatically as her shivering became tiresome and she now sat there crying silently. The door opened and Azfar witnessed the horrifying sight of his wife sniffing in tears.

"Iraj, jaan what happened? Why are you—my jaan, kya hua?" He hurried towards her and took his sweater shirt off at once to cover her by pulling it down her head. "You're freezing."

"You brought me here—you, want to make me suffer right?" She cried in a low voice.

"I'd rather kill mys—sorry wait." He ran towards a door inside the room and brought out a sweatshirt and shorts and placed it on the bed next to her. "I-I just—" He started pulling the shorts over her legs and lifted the towel a little to adjust it over her waist. Iraj felt her fingers and feet numb by now, she knew it wasn't possible for her to pull on a shirt over her head herself either. When he pulled down the shirt over her head and settled her arms into the sleeves he undid the towel beneath it, then laid her down on the bed.

"I got the clothes moved into the closet jaan, I went out to get food prepared for you, sorry I should've told you about where the clothes were." Pulling the blanket over her he turned the heater on.

"I was stuck, alone." She blinked as her leftover tears came down.

"I'm so sorry, can I go and bring the food? It'll just take a few minutes." He brushed his hand through her wet hair very carefully.

Iraj didn't really reply to it and closed her eyes. She could hear his whispers of apology for another few minutes till the bed on the other side felt lighter and she heard the door closing. Within two to three minutes the door opened again and she felt weight on the left side of the bed. "Iraj, can you try to sit for a while, you haven't eaten anything since breakfast."

She turned towards his side but was unable to pull strength to sit. Azfar got up and went inside the closet again, he came back and sat down near her feet under the bedcovers slowly removing them a little, he pulled socks over her bare feet rubbing them for a few minutes. She saw him in a different shirt now.

"Azfar, I'm okay." Iraj managed to speak and tried pushing herself up to sit, he moved towards her head side and held her shoulders for support.

"The food is still warm, you can eat a little and let me know if you want me to get it reheated." He fed her a few spoons of the soup and then she finished the whole thing without any further comment.

Iraj at once lied down after that, she felt her bones stiffen and wanted to rest badly. She held the blanket near her face to gain more warmth, "Azfar, I'm not very strong anymore, I'm—I'm not the same now." She admitted exactly what she had experienced with her body changes.

He placed his forehead over her head laid there holding her, "You are stronger than me." His head was on top of hers but she could feel his breathing becoming heavier.

"I'm going to sleep I think." Her eyes were ready to drown into sleep.

"Good night." He shifted himself under the blanket.

"But it's not night, it's only-"

"It's night if my jaan wants to sleep, it's morning if she wants to be awake. I don't care about anything else in the world." He finished his sentence and closed his own eyes.

Iraj was asleep within a few seconds rather than minutes. Azfar could not eradicate the guilt of ruining her first day spent with him after months of waiting and longing. He had never wanted it to be like this. His tears started to flow the moment she eased out into his arms while sleeping. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Iraj." His whispers of cries came out low enough for her to not even feel them in her sleep.

He missed his wife who could argue with him, tell him he was wrong at all times even if she was, he missed how persistent she was about never giving up, he missed how she used to be upset with him and make him surrender to all her mischief, he had never cherished her, and this was his punishment, he knew. She was taken away from him because of it. He didn't value her, he wanted to not admit it before but he knew he wanted Iraj to become cautious and responsible which he had believed she wasn't. Every breath now reminded him how his heart would ache forever to know that he could never turn back time.