The Wake.

16

Three weeks had passed, Iraj had been on her own in the house. Her brother would be the one who'd usually check up on her when he used to live in their parents' house while her husband would be away for business. This time was different. No one called her to come and stay over. No one bothered. Her father was himself busy traveling and her mother was only ever concerned when her father or husband were mentioned in her regard.

She had been taking her medicine regularly. She did her best not to hold things, important things or objects, in her hands. Azfar had not called her eversince he had left, or maybe he didn't want to she thought. It was afternoon when she decided to go for a bath and then rest before she could go and prepare dinner for herself.

She changed into her shorts and went to the kitchen without drying her hair after the shower. Her focus was only on not letting anything slip from her hands, even though the doctor had told her that it wasn't up to her whether her grip would falter, still Iraj now hated herself every time she would feel helpless. Too consumed in her cooking she didn't notice when someone entered the kitchen. A pair of arms came from behind and enveloped her, the spatula from her hands dropped into the metal colander at the sudden touch which she felt, leaving her startled.

"How many things did my wife break while I was gone?" Her gasp lowered hearing Azfar's voice and she turned around.

"Azfar." She looked at the man who was smiling at her like he hadn't left without a word three weeks ago. She recalled the question he'd just asked and it hit her hard, the reality of it, "Two bowls and one cup." She tried to inhale.

"Not bad. I thought at least few of the ceramic vases must've been in dust by now since you didn't go to Siraj uncle's house this time." He chuckled not sensing that Iraj had gone stiff completely at his words.

When she didn't respond he looked at her face carefully, "I missed you." He had said with so much love in his voice but none was felt on the other side.

"I didn't make dinner for you, you never told me in advance that you'd be coming tonight." She replied not wanting to even address his statement.

"You don't have to make dinner for me, I wanted to surprise you. Come let's go, we're going out." He held her hand and turned to go.

"Azfar, where? I've already made my dinner." She resisted and held on her standing place firmly.

"Dinner. Remember, we were supposed to go, it's still pending." He turned around to face her.

"You didn't hear that I already—"

"I did, I did. And I promise I'll let you say whatever you want but just for tonight can you spare this food for later." He wasn't letting go of her hand and she wanted to slide it out.

Her eyes dimmed and she looked down at the floor, "I'm in my sleeping outfit."

"Though I don't even mind that but I know you do, I'll wait, you can go and change." He smiled as she looked up at him.

She was truly reluctant to go, completely uninterested and she just wanted to be away from him. On the other hand Azfar had been dying to see her. The three weeks away from her, he had felt like it was the most unbearable time for him. Whenever he had ever left for work to a foreign country before, he'd always miss her terribly, though this time was far worse than any other time. The distance made him realize that he needed to tell her that he loves her. Most ardently.

He'd been informed about a law suit being filed against their designs by another architect from Istanbul, which had caused him to leave in an emergency, without even seeing her. It had left him distraught. Usually without Iraj he would feel annoyed at everything and this time he had fled the country without even seeing her to see lawyers who were so dumb fuck to not be able to deal with something so simple on their own, what else are lawyers supposed to do anyway?

Iraj came down dressed up with not much effort at all. She had picked out a dress without even thinking and paying any attention to how she looked. She felt drained. Her mental state had tired her.

"Why do you look so beautiful? How will I be able to focus on driving now?" Azfar walked towards her as she came down the stairs.

"I'm starving, can we go now? I haven't eaten since early afternoon." She plainly said not meeting his eyes.

"Of course, of course." Azfar took her hand in his and started to walk, he didn't really notice her absentminded expression or how she had been behaving.

When they got inside the car he was still holding her hand even while driving and she slowly slipped it out with a little force that took his attention, "What happened?"

"Nothing." She didn't understand why he was behaving like she mattered to him all of a sudden, she didn't want him to hold her hand fearing if she might start trembling with her tremors he'd notice.

He cleared his throat and didn't try to push her further by saying something during the drive. When they both reached a restaurant, that he knew was his wife's favourite for Lebanese food he thought she would at least smile. Which she didn't. She just followed behind him in a bizarre manner.

Azfar felt relieved that finally she had forgotten about her plans for his second marriage when they sat down and she quietly placed the order.

"Iraj, I'm sorry I left without seeing you." He had wanted to say it ever since he had boarded the plane.

"It's fine." Her response was brief.

"I called you that day but when you didn't answer I assumed you must've been busy getting ready, for the dinner." He still sounded very apologetic but Iraj didn't care about it. Why didn't he worry when she didn't answer, was her concern. Had he not felt like there could be something wrong with her if she hadn't returned his calls?

"You assumed right. I was getting ready. It doesn't matter anyway." She shrugged.

"It matters. Everything about you matters to me." He emphasized on his words and she wondered if it really did then why hadn't he called her in the three weeks he'd been away.

"Hm." She didn't say anything that she actually felt.

"Iraj, I was unable to call you because—"

"It doesn't matter." She was holding her fingers together tightly.

"Why not? I couldn't hear your voice for days, it matters to me." She turned her eyes at his and saw him sitting there with a sad face.

"You always want me to not talk anyway." She shook her head slowly and turned her gaze away.

"Iraj, jaan, that's not—"

"You don't have to explain." She cut him off and the waiter came with the food due to which Azfar couldn't respond either.

He kept on staring at his wife whom he had felt deprived of since days that seemed like ages. She didn't meet his eyes and started eating the food slowly. Azfar had not eaten during his long flight and he didn't seem to care about food right now either. Seeing her, watching her and being with her was the only thing he cared about.