Fallen

29. Ben F'ing Hope

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of r@pe and sensitive topics. 

"It all started when I was 13, I think." Charlie began, holding onto Nick's hand under the blankets. "I told Tao that I was gay. Apparently rumor went around, and the whole school found out. This older boy, in Nick's grade walked up to me while I was rehearsing my drums one day. I never properly met him, I just thought he was cute..Anyway, he talked to me about how I was so brave for coming out. He was one of the only people who wasn't bullying me..or so I thought." Charlie took a pause to breathe, then continued. "So he's talking to me, and then he kisses me while I just sit there. I was surprised, but I guess I didn't really mind cause I thought I had some new, hot boyfriend. We basically just- just kept hooking up with kisses, and in public he acted like I was a total stranger. Um, after a while, I had met Nick, and I was just really sick of how Ben was treating me..So I tried breaking up with him." Charlie took another small pause, hoping Harper didn't find it too gross or detailed. He imagined it couldn't be enjoyable to hear about you parents kissing and love life, especially a toxic relationship like this. "He just.. wouldn't let me. One day, he asked me to meet him in the music room, so I did. I tried to tell him to back off, but he-he started saying that he really did like me..and some other..gross things." Charlie's voice wobbled, but he gulped in down, not wanting to cry in front of Harper or Nick. "He kissed me, even though I told him to stop. Um, he was trying to y'know- do more, but um.. Nick heard me shouting, I suppose, so he came in and um..pulled Ben off me. And even after that he was just really nasty to everyone, and he dated Imogen for a bit, and he was nasty to her. He's just a bad person.." 

Harper looked down. She was really disgusted, and it hurt more knowing her dad was her age when it happened. "That's..Utterly horrible." 

"And it all just really got to me..The bullying. I don't wanna..burden you with everything, it's all in the past. But some of the trauma still affects us today. And I really, really  hope you or your brother never have to go through something like that. And if something happens, please know you can talk to us. I know parents always say that, but I've been through it. I know how it is." Charlie finished softly. He assumed his daughter had an idea of what Charlie did to himself, but he didn't want to get descriptive with his self harm and eating disorder with his child. When Charlie noticed Harper's sad expression, he was going to speak again, but before he did, Nick excused himself, probably going to cry. Nick had really bad trauma from Ben. The anxiety it caused him should really be talked about in therapy, but Nick didn't want to go and accept how much it affected him. Charlie watched, then turned to Harper. "I'm not saying Ivy is like her dad.."

"I know." Harper interrupted. "I-" She stopped talking and just gave her dad a hug. Charlie loved being close like this with his daughter; he hoped he could give her the comfort of a parent he didn't have all that much as a kid. "I don't think he's changed much. Ivy hasn't said anything good about him.." 

Charlie nodded. "If you feel comfortable to answer, do you like Ivy?" 

Harper hesitated, remembering Ivy said to keep their relationship a secret. When Harper remembered this, she thought back to what Charlie said; in public, Ben acted like he didn't know Charlie. What if that was want Ivy wanted? Just hookups? But Ivy took her on a date, but maybe it was just a setup. 

"Harps?" Charlie asked after a bit of silence. 

"Oh. N-no, we're just friends.." 

Charlie nodded. "Okay..Now go to bed, it's late." 

"Ossy's not even home." Harper complained as she stood up. 

"Yes, well, he should be. It's past his curfew.." 

Harper nodded. "Dad, I'm sorry all that happened to you.." 

Charlie sighed, smiling because his daughter was so sweet. "Thank you, Harper. But it's not your fault." 

"I know..Goodnight." Harper said, walking upstairs. 

"'Night." Charlie said softly. He pulled out his phone and texted Oscar to come home now. Charlie then went to go and find his husband, and could only imagine the sad look on his face. 

Nick was sitting on the bed, hugging his stuffed animal cat like a child with a pout. His huge arms made the plush look extremely tiny, but Nick looked adorable. 

"Why do you get so worked up? You get even more upset than me.." Charlie said, sitting on the bed, kissing Nick. 

"Because, Charlie. It fucking terrifies me to know that If I didn't walk in, Ben would have raped you." Nick said bluntly, shrugging as if it meant nothing, even though it meant the world. 

Charlie froze, then nodded. "But you did come in, it's over." 

"B-but if I didn't-" 

"Nick..Do you wanna go to therapy for this? I-I'm sorry if you're upset, but you always seemed so triggered.." 

"I do not need to go to therapy." 

"Nick..Just cause you go to therapy, it doesn't mean you're weak, or ill. It means you're strong, and you taught me that." 

Nick nodded, sighing. "I dunno why I get so upset. You're just so..It was just that day was one of the worst of my life. I already loved you, so seeing Ben doing that, and- and seeing your scared, sad little face..It broke me." Nick admitted, his voice shattering into sobs. 

Charlie jumped on top of his husband like he was a jungle gym, and melted into him. Charlie stroked Nick's hair almost aggressively, taking all of his precious husband in. Nick was getting more obsessed with Charlie by the minute, but then the sound of the front door opening reached their ears. 

"I think that's Oscar! God, he was supposed to be home ages ago." Charlie said as he gave Nick one last smooch, then ran downstairs. Nick sat up, grumpy that his husband left. He sniffled, wiping his tears as he licked his lips to get one last taste of Charlie. Nick grabbed his plush and hugged it while he waited for Charlie's return. 

"Oscar." Charlie said in a slightly scolding voice as he saw his son. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Oscar groaned, his voice raspy and hoarse, running a hand through his knotted curls. 

"Please don't be late next time, or at least text me, I was worried." Charlie sighed, pushing Ossy to his room. 

Oscar nodded. The boy looked a mess; hair tousled hair, loose clothes, hoarse voice..

"I mean it. Or there will be consequences." Charlie mumbled. He hated punishing his kids, but sometimes slight discipline was necessary 

When Charlie returned to his husband, Nick's face lit up as he pulled Charlie back so they could  continue making out. 

"Love you.." Nick mumbled. 

"Love you too." Charlie smiled into the next kiss.