Fallen

34. Thoughts

The next day, Harper was home alone. Oscar was with his girlfriend, and Nick and Charlie were elsewhere. Harper didn't like her parents being so secretive, especially since they were a very open family. Harper did like being home alone, however. It meant she could sing as loud as she wanted, eat anything she wanted, or just sit and think, and Harper settled on the third option. She went to the living room and sat criss cross on the couch, just thinking. It was crazy how much someone's life could change in just the span of a few months. If someone were to tell Harper one year ago that she would have a potential girlfriend by the time she was almost 15, she would have laughed in their face. It was all so bizarre, everything that was happening, and Harper barely got a chance to process it all. 

Her dog had died, she discovered she was bi and was now in a situationship, she found out she was adopted, and now her birthday was coming up in less than a month. God, this was an eventful year, there was still two more months to go. As Harper thought about these things, she started to get stressed and upset. She hadn't had a lot of time to grieve her dog that she loved so much, and now she could feel the tears wetting her cheeks. She then started crying harder, now thinking about how she was adopted. She truly didn't mind it, it was just a bit overwhelming in the way she found out. Once Harper's crying slowed, she began to think about Ivy. She knew Ivy was hiding something, hiding her feelings. Harper didn't want to invade and question her until she opened up, it was too soon for that, but she didn't want Ivy to suffer alone in silence. Harper didn't know what to do, she felt alone and helpless. She didn't know why she was so upset; she was always the happy-go-lucky friend, so why was she so blue? Maybe she was the cheerful friend because she never told anyone about her feelings, but why should she? There were children in the world who were homeless, starving, and abused, so why did it matter if Harper felt sad? However, she knew her parents would listen if she wanted to talk, but she didn't want to burden them, especially since it seemed like Charlie wasn't doing so well at the moment. Harper didn't know what the future held for her, but her overthinking lead her into imagining that it wasn't going to be easy. She thought about what it would be like if she came out, and if she would get bullied. With Charlie being head boy of Truham when he was in school, it significantly helped with the decrease of homophobia across Truham and Higgs, but unfortunately, homophobia will never, ever stop.

Harper flinched when she heard a noise. She glanced out of the window and saw a black car approaching in the driveway. She wiped away any remaining tears and turned the TV on, needing to make it seem like she was doing something other than crying. The sound of keys jangling together rang in Harper's ear until the door opened and Nick and Charlie walked in. 

"Oh. Hi, sweetie.." Charlie smiled softly at his daughter. 

"Hi.." Harper mumbled, her voice hoarse from crying. 

"You okay? Sore throat?" Nick asked when her heard her tone. 

Harper just shrugged it off as Charlie sat next to her. 

"What're you watching?" Charlie asked. 

"Nothing yet.." Harper said, scrolling through Netflix shows.

"What's wrong really?" Charlie asked again.

"I think I'm just..sad. About..Daisy." Harper shrugged, clicking on a random baking show just so her eyes could focus on something.

Charlie nodded. "I know..It was really sudden, and that was your first experience with death like that."

"And I don't wanna replace Daisy, but-"

"You wouldn't mind another pet?" Charlie smiled, finishing the sentence for her.

"..Yeah." Harper let out a small, but content sigh.

"Well, Nick and I were recently talking about another pet, so maybe we'll have one sooner than you think." Charlie said, and there was a look in his eyes that showed he knew something Harper didn't.

Harper smiled; her birthday was coming up, and possibly getting a pet for her special day sounded absolutely brilliant.

"Dad?" Harper asked before Charlie rose. Charlie nodded his head, waiting for his daughter to speak. "Have..Have you and dad been going to therapy? I'm sorry if-"

"Don't apologize." Charlie mumbled, sighing. "Yes, we have been. Nothing bad is happening, I promise.." Charlie said, discreetly hiding his hand behind his back, crossing them to tell himself he wasn't being truthful. "It's just nice to get a check up every once in a while. Please do not worry, it's truly none of your business or concern."

Harper nodded. Maybe she had gone too far; it's not like her parents needed to tell her everything, they were adults and had their own lives..But Harper cared about her dads, and it hurt to know if they wasn't doing well mentally or physically.

Later Harper found herself talking to her other dad, Nick.

"Dad.. What is it like? Wanting to help someone.. But you can't?" Harper whispered.

".. What do you mean? Harper, I've been.. Worried about you." Nick said, turning to face Harper more properly.

"I..My friend is going through something and I dunno how to help." Harper said.

Nick nodded in understanding. "Who? Do you wanna talk about it?"

Harper was about to speak, but then she remembered what Ivy had said about their relationship being a secret, so she shook her head. "No.."

"Harper, I-" Nick tried to say, but Harper just ran to her room. Nick groaned, though he didn't go after her. Charlie walked in to the room, going to get a glass of water.

"I don't know why Harper won't fucking talk to me." Nick scoffed. It upset him that his daughter wasn't opening up to him. Sure, he respected her privacy, but he wanted to be an understanding parent that his children could actually confide and find advice in. He and Harper used to be two peas in a pod, birds of a feather, but now they were growing disant as if they were a string of twine, pulling away until it snapped in half.

"She's a teenager.. It's how teens are." Charlie shrugged, taking a long gulp of water.

Nick shook his head. "It's not like that. She.. She's hiding something. And as much as I value her privacy, I want to know what it is so I can help!"

Charlie sighed. His husband was such a people pleaser. "Nick, baby, you help Harper, and Ossy a lot more than you know.. And sometimes, you have to let her be independent. Harper is a big girl, she can handle herself. However, if she wants to tell you something she will when she's ready." Charlie assured, putting his hands on Nick's broad shoulders.

"What if someone is threatening her to not say anything?" Nick said, joining in with the motion, his palms now placed on Charlie's shoulders.

"Erm.. I doubt it's that." Charlie said, though who could know for sure?

"I wanna help." Nick whispered, his chocolate colored eyes now focused on the cold floor of the kitchen. "I don't want her to go through what we went through.. What I went through." Nick finished. Nicks mental health was always overlooked, especially by himself. It was hard, having his boyfriend at the time, being in a mental hospital. It fucking sucked knowing he couldn't do anything to help because he was a great distance away. That feeling of helplessness, puzzledness, and weakness was something Nick wouldn't wish on his worst enemies. Except maybe Ben Hope. Ben was always an exception to terrible things.

Charlie nodded, understanding Nick's concern. "I understand. We'll keep an eye on her, okay?"

"Okay.." Nick said, his bottom lip sticking out in the smallest of pouts.

"Okay." Charlie said, kissing his husband's nose.