A MAN TO HEAL

chapter thirty two

POV Suki

" Good night! See you tomo Suki for another morning run "

" Yes of course, and Have a good night too " I say with a big smile as I wave at Hin Ari

I wait for her and Yerim to make it to the house next to mine to finally close the door

My smile dropped immediately

The house is quiet and it seems like there isn't a single soul awake

I walk cautiously to my bedroom and as soon as I get inside and close the door behind me, I slide on the floor and all the tears I've been holding for the rest of the night just flow

I cover my mouth with my hand to prevent my parents from hearing me cry from their own room

I don't even know what I'm crying for

I just feel an overwhelming feeling of sadness that I just want to let destroy me

I don't know exactly what is the reason of my sadness but I'm sure he may actually start with a J

Never in my entire life I've wanted something or someone this bad

And it was so upsetting the way he kept me wrapped around his finger even though he never wanted me

He chose her...

He stayed with her even after the worst

And even though I have no idea why they finally broke up, I'm sure he still loves her and I'm not sure if tomorrow I won't find out that they got back together again

He is as obsessed with her as I'm in love with him

I wanted to move on, I wanted to forget him, turn the page on that devastating attraction

But nothing worked

Even though Alessio is such a good person, but it seems like he is not my person...

But who my person is? Cause I'm not sure it's Jimin either

I told him and showed him how desperate I was, and it was such a stupid move of me

Now he knows I'm into him, but I still have no idea what he thinks about me

He doesn't feel the same, it's clear to me

He didn't even tell me about him breaking up with his fiancée, not before I asked him

He already moved to another place, so it's not something fresh,  yet he didn't tell me about it

He was really serious when he said that goodbye to me

And that's why I'm so mad right now, so mad that I still can't move on even though the signs are clear... I'm nothing more than just two kisses in his agenda

While I desperately fell in love with him

Why did my heart have to choose him?

Why him?

There are so many people in the world, why him?

I cry over and over again, letting my pain consume me until I'm very low

The world is unfair, the universe is unfair

I can't count how many times I've been rejected by him, but I'm still heartbroken to find out that he is now single when I no longer am

As if something would've changed if I wasn't

I'm sure nothing would've changed cause he simply doesn't like me enough to be with me