the biggest star in the world

emotional times

not proof read 

madelines pov 

i don't want to stay the night at caleb's so i do my best to sit still through dinner and then excuse myself to drive home.

again the drive was silent. i know i still love him, maybe im in love with the idea of him i have in my mind at this point. because what just happened was not the caleb i fell in love with so long ago.

but i don't want to break up with him. i don't know what im going to do. i'll talk to him tomorrow when he's called off a little.

communication is key.

which makes me hypocritical for not telling him about work. 

i decided to run a warm bath when i got home to try and relax. my heart could not handle any more stress right now.

when i got to my apartment there was a package by the door. very sketchy. i kicked it into my apartment and closed the door behind me.

carefully looking at it i see a note on top. i'm genuinely scared it's like a bomb or camera thing.

hey honey,
i was going to give this to you but you weren't home so hopefully this hasn't been stolen!
it's just some safety stuff and a proper first aid kit

let me know if you need anything else,

love scarlett.

okay she is actually the sweetest. it really lifted my spirits and i sent her a quick thank you text.
taking the box into my bathroom i turn the water on for a hot bath. everything hurts. down there especially. 

i wanted to cry, i could understand that i was very overwhelmed and i was probably just over reacting and i need to sleep it off. thinking about my relationship makes me think back to violet. 

amber needed help that violet couldnt provide, and that is not her fault. i sunk under the bath water letting it consume me before coming up for air. i didnt know how to calm down. 

after my bath i decided to order some comfort food because i was really drained but also really hungry. i tried paying but the app wasnt working and it really was starting to piss me off. then my phone started ringing and it was scarlett. 

"hey madz, just checking if you have a ride to the set location tomorrow" 

"um yeah, ill drive. where are we going?" 

"ill send you the address. why do you sound like you've been crying" i started lying at he question. 

"its nothing, i was trying to order take out and my app wasnt working. im just tired" she let out a soft chuckle and let me get back to my task. after almost throwing my phone against the wall i decide to just call the place. 

with my order finally in i put one of my comfort movies on and relax into my couch.

the next morning i had to get up for school, which was not becoming part of my routine so it was a struggle. i had a pair of low rise jeans and a singlet. basic i know but i cant be bothered. with school all day and then an overnight shoot tonight i started my day with a triple shot expresso. 

after finding a park finally i head into school late but there. everything still hurt and the coffee was only just kicking in. i waited around the office for the desk lady, her name is belinda and im actually scared of her, to come back so i can sign in. 

because it was close to break i signed in and slowly walked to class and by then the bell went and i missed all of first session. sitting where we usually do for lunch i see my friends slowly filter in. 

"hey, i thought you had work today" nola questioned when she walked over. 

"later" was all i said. she intantly noticed my mood but didnt comment on it. when caleb and his friends came over i stiffened and crossed my legs. nola snickered beside me thinking my behavior was for a different reason. 

caleb sat right next to me so our bodys were touching and he handed me a coffee. i thanked him but he didnt even look at me. 

and after another session and break of me not talking i decided to go home. school wouldnt miss me. and when i did exactly that i reheated my food from last night. ate it. and NAPPED. 

unfortunately a few hours later my phone started ringing in my ear. "what" i answered without even looking at it. 

"can you give me a ride to set, my car wont start" it was violet. 

"do you have doritos" 

"yes" 

"then yes i can drive you, ill be there in 30 minutes" i rolled out of bed and threw a hoodie on. i brushed my bed head and brushed my teeth. no matter what im doing i brush my teeth before leaving the house. 

chugging water after as i realise ive had 2 coffees and thats it i fill my yeti up and head downstairs. 

when violet gets into my car she hads me the share bag of doritios. "and im in love you" i said as a thank you opening the bag and snacking instantly. 

"yes yes, everyone loves me" she laughed and i pull out of her driveway to head to the scene. it was some abandoned car dump which i was so thrilled about being at late at night. especially since we were doing a horror scene. when we got there everyone was shivering in the cold as the crew had set everything up already. 

"this is going to be one fun night" i said slipping my uggs back on since i couldnt drive in them. 

"oh totally" violet answered back with the same enthusiasm. i headed to scarlett and she wrapped her arms around me instantly asking why i dont have a coat on. after telling her i dont own one she was unimpressed. 

whoopsies.

a/n 

day 6 of 12!