The Boot Shiner (Destiny x Male Reader)

Chapter 41: Prior to the Studying of Seclusion

I made it to the Tower's hangar without seeing Phantom anymore. On my checklist, I'm going to talk to Crow about any pointers, then go back to Ikora for her to give me an assignment. I have another side quest of my own to go back to the Seclusion once I have myself a ship and a sparrow to use. That's another thing Gaia brought up many times that I still neglected to mention until now.

I'm still struggling in the language department at this point but I'm definitely learning a ton. I'm picking up my bearings and understanding innuendos just a tad easier. I think I need to take some time on my own and explore the databases. Perhaps when I find my living quarters, if I even have any assigned to me, I can do that.

I heard from a titan that was seeing Ada early, before she made my armor that they used to sleep in their sheep. I'm hoping this ship will be big enough for that form of accommodation. I'm getting ahead of myself. I find myself doing that often. Let's focus on Crow for right now...

I could be better, more physically equipped, and possibly I'm more confident than the old Y/N, but there's no doubt this imposter syndrome is as real as it gets. I'm also having a bit of an identity crisis when I push through that syndrome and avoid thinking about it, coming to the question that restarts my thought process: "Which Y/N am I?"

Y/N: My head hurts.

Gaia: Strange... Is it the helmet?

Y/N: I don't know...

Gaia quickly scans me before her eye widens, and so does the shell around it as she gasps.

Gaia: Your mental stimulation and brain waves are off the charts! It's sporadic, all over the place! Y/N, you NEED to calm down... I'm taking your helmet...

She transmats the helmet off of my head in the middle of the hangar. I quickly step aside before meeting anyone and sit alone on the stairs. I grab my head and try to take deep breaths to calm the anxiety that's been incubating in my head since I stepped foot in the Tower. I can feel my own heartbeat coming from my head. That's how bad it got. Or... I think that's bad, at least.

Gaia: What did it, you think?

Y/N: You don't know?!

Gaia: I don't! I can't read your mind! I will admit that this... new light experience is even worse than ideal, but we need to find the root of all these feelings. I wonder if-...

She's cut off, her eyes widening at something above and behind me, further up the stairs. She transmats away when I look behind me to see nothing. I start thinking she just left me so I can figure it out myself until I find out just what I was looking at. Crow, who has a different haircut now than the image Gaia showed me earlier. Perhaps he took someone's advice and changed it, but a middle part fits him more for sure.

Y/N: Crow.

Crow doesn't speak, instead he sighs as he sits down next to me, his invisibility cancelling as he does so. When I look at him, like a Vanguard leader he remains stoic and eyes front. He doesn't speak to me until I do the same thing, looking away from him to keep my eyes in front.

Y/N: Hmmm... I was told to meet with you for some advice. I heard you had a rough start when you first got here as a new guardian. There's people that treat me like the old Y/N. I wear someone's face even though I'm a completely different person. The imposter syndrome is hitting me harder than anything I've felt.

Crow: Hm. There's no denying guardian that what you're feeling is something very similar to what I have felt. In fact, I think... it would've been easier for you to acclimate if you wore the face of an individual everyone despised... rather than liked. A hated person promotes avoidance... leading to individualism... A liked person now returning into people's lives recreates the feeling of longing...