riki.nishimura. → yours sincerely

EPILOGUE 3

dearest Haeun,

first and foremost, i want to wish you a happy birthday, I always assumed we'd be spending this day together, but sometimes the world has different plans

i think about you alot, i wonder how you're doing, how you're holding up and how life is treating you

i assume it's perfect for you - life imitates art, after all

i want to apologise to you, from every part of my self, from the person i will be in the future, from the person i'll be in my next life, i want you to know that i lie awake, stood from my balcony, and think about the way you smile, the way i missed all those opportunities to hear your laugh, the way i won't feel your touch anymore

i sometimes hope you don't find another man, i hope sometimes you can't get over me

but at the end of the day

i want you to be happy Haeun, i want you to let go, and find yourself once more, i want you to grasp the life you've always wanted, the one we had always talked about, the one you fell asleep on me while talking about

that one, i want you to find and live

i love you more than words can express, more than any action can give, anything, i will always love you more

in our next life, i will find you once more, and we will live the life we had always planned

in our next life, i wont mess it up

and in our next life, we'll live happily till death do us part

i love you Haeun eternally

yours sincerely

Niki'

I hold onto this piece of paper as if it's won me the lottery, a small warm tear beading down my cheek, a stinging sensation appearing on my cheek.

A few intricate snowflakes landed on the paper, I wipe my eyes, looking back ahead, and it's empty. There's no one there, and behind me, there's nobody behind me either.

He's gone - really gone.

I fold it up gently, placing it back into it's rightful envelope.

I'm not sure there will ever be a day where I can let him go, I still have faith that he'll come back, that one day, like he said, he'd return to me. I'll wait, even if that takes years, or weeks, or however many decades, it's always been him - and no matter what - It will always be him.

I take in a deep breath, before turning back round and making the walk back to the restaurant.

I think that's enough socialising for today..

A FEW MONTHS LATER

Somehow, ever since that clarity from Niki, I could live a little better. It's not as bad as it was, and I even find some happiness in the fact we parted, because I hold tightly onto that belief that we'll reunite one day.

It's fine, I don't mind it. I'm fine with being alone, I still have time, sorry - we both still have time. And I'll let him figure out when he's ready, the same moment I'm figuring out when I'm ready.