Fire Full Of Love

Part 34 - The message

Anastasia pov:

I quickly put my phone down. I know i wanted him to text but maybe i don't. I feel nauseous or maybe it's my head or my eyes that sting.

No it's definitely nausea.

I feel as if i'm made up of everyone i've ever loved. I don't know if my heart is beating too fast or not at all. It hurts, everything hurts.

Every time a soul comes in contact with mine, i feel a need to give them all the love i have, throw the whole world out there for them like i built it.

Only for this to teach me the art of letting go. Yet i took that art in, watched so gracefully as if it was held in a museum. Eyes staring like it was the Mona Lisa. I never thought that painting was very beautiful nor may i say engaging, elegant or graceful with the dull colours. But if i look at every single brush stroke it has more of a story, more precious. You can never seem to let go of the memory. If i think of something like it, or words in common, it can come to mind very easily.

Maybe like our love, it wasn't very beautiful, or engaging or elegant but it was us. It always has been. Except we left it in the past. We were young.

Every time we argued we gave up for a while, i never spoke up about the problem straight away to him, when i thought he was with another girl but when i did i learned i saw it all the wrong way. If i just spoke to him instead of running from everything i may get an answer and thats all i need.

I cant keep walking away from everything i have ever wanted. If i don't have an answer i can never get over it, maybe that's why i am so broken.

Maybe this time we didn't give up. He came back. Even if it was a text he still came back.. right?

I don't want to run anyway i just want the truth.

I look at my phone.

"Meet me tomorrow, please."

I tried to reply for twenty minutes, typing and taking words back, nearly sending then deleting. I have nothing to say, i don't want to say "okay" because that's too dry, i don't want to say "fine" because that makes me seem like a bitch and i can't say "yes" because that's awkward. Being a girl is so hard.

I heart the message and thrown my phone to the other side of my bed. Wanting to scream into my pillow but i don't because it's not very sound proof (knowing from experience).

I won't talk to my Uncle. He made it clear that's what he wants. It will be awkward but not for long as my Aunt and Uncle will be away for work (again).

I don't mind the house to myself, it gets lonely sometimes but i'm an only child so it always has been, my parents were away when i was younger too. I was looked after by babysitters. One i really liked. Her name was Nancy and we used to bake Chocolate chip cookies, they were my favourite, the only one who knows that is Gio and Bailee. Quinn should know but he forgets a lot. I am glad i have them all as friends.

Quinn and Bailee have reported most of the videos of me basically (and embarrassingly) drowning. Not a proud moment and can now say i will not drink for a little while (don't take that seriously).

I need to think for an outfit i will wear tomorrow but firstly i need to sleep. I won't bother setting an alarm because i will snooze it anyway. I hope to sleep some of the embarrassment away.

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Ooooo it's getting to the good parts now. I had to write this chapter to show you all how she felt about Gio and not just her Uncle.

I am also sorry it's short i've been so ill... i will still be writing chapters for you all though and updating throughout.

I am grateful for every single one of you and thank you for 5K views!!!!