𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 (OC x OC) - Full Series

[007] CHAPTER 9 - RED

"losing him was blue like i'd never known."
|| taylor swift

Mattheo Riddle

I lean against the windows in the Slytherin Common Room, staring into the abyss of the Black Lake. Ann isn't attending Hogwarts this year. Her father wishes for her to stay away from the Deatheaters that have now infiltrated Hogwarts and the Ministry. She isn't even allowed to tell me where she is. It causes a pain in my chest.

I watch as the selkies' silhouettes swim gracefully past the windows as if the world around us isn't crumbling right before our very eyes. Makayla hasn't really enjoyed watching the Black Lake's antics through the privileged windows of the dungeons ever since Fifth year. I suppose that almost dying has made her not very fond of anything to do with the Lake. Though, when she sees the Giant Squid while out on a walk, she can't help but take a picture with her camera and paint a replica of the picture later on in her day.

Nora skips over to me, staring at the Selkies as they disappear further into the Lake. She's silent for a moment before asking, "Do you think Makayla will be okay?"

"What do you mean?" I inquire, glancing at the—despite being 12—extremely short child in confusion.

"Well, she hasn't been able to speak to Louis for a month and I can tell that she's been getting less and less sleep lately."

"That comes with the package of your parents working for my father."

"She's been restless since her fifth year."

"When do you think we all got the Mark?" I ask as if it was obvious that our whole group has basically gotten it.

I watch as her eyes widen in horror. "Makayla has the Dark Mark?"

"You didn't know?" I snort.

"She never told me!"

"As if that's a surprise. She hates talking about it; she didn't even talk about it to Jordyn before she died..." I explain, my voice softening as my late sister's name falls from my mouth.

Suddenly, I'm back in the moment that the curse left my wand. Theo tried to stop me, pushing me slightly so it wouldn't hit Makayla, but it was too late. We watched as the curse flew through the air, then saw Makayla at the bottom of the hill, terrified. That's when we saw who we really killed. Jordyn. My little sister.

Theo hasn't exactly looked at me the same since. He was sent on the same mission as I, but he was always never going to follow through, which is why my father asked for me to tag along. Honestly, I wish it was just my mission. If Theo hadn't been there, Jordyn wouldn't be dead. Makayla would, regrettably, be in her place, but I would have my sister. So much pain from the past year would have been reversed if I had gone to kill Makayla Malfoy alone, but I doubt that Ann would have ever said yes to being my girlfriend if I had killed her. I wouldn't have been able to get away with the murder as easily as I did when Jordyn died. Jordyn was far less lenient than Makayla is. I would prefer to live in Azkaban for the rest of my life than live with the regret and image in my mind of Jordyn's body on the floor, though.

Sometimes I wonder if Louis would have found out quicker if I were able to kill Makayla that night that Sirius Black had died. I wonder if he would have been heartbroken to find that the girl he's loved for so many dreadful years has been a part of the murder group that's been seeking out his friend's end for 17 years. I wonder if he would have even been upset. Would he blame her? Ask why she did what she did? Or would he just weep as he stares at the cold face of the girl he loves with the eyes that she once loathed? I wonder I wonder I wonder I wonder so so so many things.

I don't typically wonder. I usually fight...er. (See what I did there?)

I know that this isn't exactly a laughable time, but I can't help but wallow in self pity, knowing that I may never see Ann again because of something I had no choice in. Knowing that she may never trust me again once I tell her the truth—that Makayla is not the only Deatheater in Hogwarts—I can't help but laugh. I could even cackle at the fact that I am probably the most idiotic man known to live—maybe even the most cowardly. I let Makayla take the fall so that I wouldn't lose Ann, but she lost Louis in the process. Maybe I am a coward, but I'm selfish, too. Maybe even more selfish than I plan to be. It's not something I can control.

I live with many regrets as I stare out the window and ponder over all the mistakes I've made in just under a month. As I self-depreciate, I barely even notice Nora walk away out of boredom and curiosity. I hear her footsteps go to the girls' dorms and I can only wonder if she's going to talk to Makayla about what I have told her.

My eyes close as I let the nervous feeling flutter away, remembering the look of love on Ann's face when she saw me the day we arrived at the Burrow. She was happy to see me. If I tell her the truth, that may change. That can't change.

Louis took a step away from Makayla when he saw the Dark Mark and didn't even reach to comfort her when he saw her tears. I could tell that he wanted to, but he didn't allow himself to be so vulnerable around the enemy. That word used to be used as light banter to describe the two of them. Now they're on two different sides of a war. A war where people die and shoot spells at each other. I don't know if they have realized this yet:

But they'll have to be shooting at each other.

Though, I feel as if Makayla had already come to this realization long ago. Long before she even had the Death Mark. She was always prepared—always ready for any possible inconvenience. The look on Louis' face was one thing she hadn't prepared to see in person. Now that this realization is becoming a reality, I've noticed the vibrance in her eyes slowly withdraw itself from her popping and annoying personality. She's still annoying, but she isn't popping out. She lost her pop. She lost Louis—because of me.

Maybe that's why she's started letting her eyes grow darker...

Even more red.