billie eilish mental health imagines

drowing the pain ⚠️

"you're being so weird y/n, this isn't like you!" someone shouted over the music as i allowed the vodka to pour down my throat.

tonight was the one night that i had fully been able to let myself lose and the only reason for that was because i had been drinking all week.

every single day i had been pouring it down my throat in the hopes that i would be able to drown my sorrows.

yet it hadn't worked.

sure it had taken the edge off of the pain that i felt but it hadn't done anything to completely numb the pain and i hated it.

all that i could do was hope that tonight i could fully lose myself to the drink and that the alcohol would numb it all.

shot after shot.

cocktail after cocktail.

the alcohol poured down my throat like a slip and slide as i continued to refill my glass a million times over.

however, at the night ran away with me, my memory started to become hazy and my judgment was becoming to be illogical.

i felt someone push up against me so i began to dance with them, thinking that that was what they were trying to do.

but when their face pushed up against mine and they tried to place a kiss on my lips, i shoved them away and tried to run.

in that moment i felt the most sober than i had all night and, no matter how hard i tried to forget it, i couldn't seem to.

so, the only suitable thing seemed to be taking a few more shots until i couldn't remember a thing.

however the fun was far from over as i heard an very familiar voice shouting over the sheer volume of the music.

"who let her drink!" i heard billie shout.

i stumbled towards the door, lights flashing in my eyes as i tried to escape without being noticed.

however a sharp pain in my stomach caused me to fall forwards and let out a scream as i gripped tightly onto my waist.

"y/n!" she let out another shout.

i felt my body crash to the floor, the pain finally leaving me as i allowed my body to drift into the darkness.

i was free at last.

_______
a/n:

it's better if i write about it than continue to do it.

or is it...?