Battle scars

•Aspirin•

**Jake's POV**

We sat in the police station wait room. Julie sat in silence. Her neck was bruised. Along with her legs and arms. I imagine everywhere else too. She was leaned forward with her face in her hands. She was sobbing quietly. There was blood in lines on the back of her shirt.

"Julie?," I said.

"Hmm?" She didn't move.

"Whys your back bleeding?" She sat up more.

"Ummm." She didn't tell me.

I lifted the back of her shirt and looked at her back. She had cuts all over her. "What happened?" I asked in slight panic.

"M-mark cut me. Multiple times." She said.

"In the back room?" I asked.

"Yes." She said.

She began to cry more. "Shhhh. It's okay. You're safe now." I held her in my arms. She cried into my chest.

A ruckus came through the door. A screaming and yelling guy. They had four guys holding him. He looked out way. It was mark. They were bringing him into custody. They took him through the door that, I guess, led to the jail center. Julie paid no mind to the noise. She just sobbed into her hands. Her shirt was rode up. Her low rise pants revealed, some, marks on her hips.

"Julie? What are those?" I rubbed my thumb on her skin there.

"Uhh." She murmured.

"What is it?" I ask, clueless.

"They're s-s-self harm scars." She said.

I pull her shorts a little lower to see blood. She had cut recently. Deep.

"You shouldn't do this to yourself, Jules." I said. I fixed her shorts back. "Not again. Ever."

"I've been battling depression for a long time. I've cut in a lot of places. My wrists, thighs, hips, stomach, and my sides." She confessed.

I looked at her wrist. She had faint scars. "I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"It's not something you tell people." Then she began to act like she would. "I want pizza. Oh and by the way, I'm emotionally depressed and i cut myself because if the self hate and abuse I've had."

"Okay. Okay." I said.

_________________________________________________

The officer said we were free to go after about a half hour. Julie couldn't stop crying. She went straight to the bathroom when we got back to my apartment. She was crying, I could hear her.

*julies POV*

I was in the bathroom for a good while. I couldn't hold in the urge any longer. I got my blades from my purse. I got out my first one. I remember I drew a heart on it. It stood for mark. Whenever he upset me, I would get that one out. I got it out and I cut my thighs. I slashed them. The cuts were pretty deep. I hated myself for not ever standing up to him. I hated that I always felt weak. I was always on the ground. Or crying or pleading for him to not hurt me. I cut so deep. I cried harder. I couldn't take his anymore. I got bandaids from the cabinet. I put them on my cuts. That's pretty much the only way I feel like I am taking care of myself. I bandaged myself. Then put the bandaids back. Then I got a bottle of aspirin from the cabinet. I opened it up to see how many was in there. It was almost completely full. So about 50 tablets. I put them on my purse. I fixed my shorts and left the bathroom.

"You okay?" He asked me.

"In fine. Just upset." I said. Then went to the couch and got my blankets, and a pillow.

"I'm just gonna watch tv and go to sleep. Okay? I just want to be alone for now." I say.

"Okay." He kissed me and said goodnight. Then went to his room. I guess he turned the tv on in there, because I heard laughing.

I wrote a letter...

Jake,
Baby, I'm sorry. I can't live with this anymore. I have to go. I know this is going to hurt you. So I want you to listen to a song. It's called 'Can You Feel My Heart' by Bring me the horizon. I want you to know that I love you. You're amazing. I want you to know that it wasn't you. It was the voice in my head. And I cut again, even after you said not to. I love you. Don't forget that. You can have my hoodies. They are oversized, how I like them, so they should fit you if you need one. I'm sorry about his this though. But you should know, I'm not hurting anymore. So don't worry about me. I will always be with you. <3 I love you, Jake.
Love,
Julie.

I got out the bottle of aspirin. I got a cup of water. Then I sat back down on the couch. I dumped the tablets on the coffee table. With tears running down my face, I took one. Then two. Then, the bedroom door opened. Jake came out. He saw me with the aspirin.

"What are you doing? How many did you take?" He asked in panic.

"Ummm." I couldn't get any words to come out. "W-why aren't you in bed?"

"I was thirsty." He said.

"Oh. Umm. Okay." I said.

"Now. Get up and come here." He said. He had tears. I got up. I had the note on my lap. It fell on the floor. I walked to him.

He whispered to me, "were you going to kill yourself?"

I cringed after he asked. "Y-yes. Yes I was."

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I can't take this anymore! I can't do it! I'm dying inside!" I explained.

"Oh. Still it's not the answer. How many did you take?" He asked.

"Two. " I said.

"Okay. So you're fine. Now give me those." He went to the table and put all the tablets back in the bottle. I was crying. He still doesn't know about my deep cuts. He hasn't read the note. I went and picked it up a do out it in my purse. Then I went to bed. He kneeled next to me.

"Julie. I am here for you. You can tell me anything. I won't change how I feel about you. I love you." He then for up and left the room. He went to bed.

He loves me. Why does he love me? Why would he care? I'm broken. I'm unlovable, and I hate myself. My self hate is going to eat me alive. I'm scarred, all over my body. How could anyone love a girl that cuts herself?

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Hey y'all! It's been a while I know. But I only have like one chapter left then I'll do the epilogue! Please vote, comment, share, and follow! Thanks guys. :)