Battle scars

• Let's Do It •

I watched the ambulance drive away. I got in my car and drive behind it running every light through town.

My mind still kept wandering. What if I never hear his voice again? See his eyes open? Get to tell him i love him, even?

I pulled into the hospital parking lot and find the closest space possible. It's, of course, toward the middle of the lot. The ambulance I followed stopped their sirens when they pulled in, just before me. The lights still flickering.

I get out of my car and run to the ER entrance. I followed the gurney the nurses and a doctor were pushing. The doctor was on top of the gurney giving chest compressions. He must've crashed in the vehicle. I follow and follow as quick as i can until I reach down doors. A nurse pulled me aside and said I have to wait here. I watched in the windows of the exam room. There were machines and lights everywhere. They pulled a cart that had some defibrillators on it. They charged if and yelled clear. Then shocked him.

Nothing. No beeps other than a loud ongoing beep that had a line on the screen to follow. He had no pulse.

The doctor yelled clear again and shocked him. His limp body jerked from the charge.

There was a beep. "We got a pulse!" A nurse yelled. They then started doing some other things. A nurse came up to me and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Miss, could I have you fill out this form?" She had a high-ish voice. Kind of squeaky. But not too much.

I nodded and followed her to a waitinf room filled with people.

I hadn't realized I had tears down my face until she handed me a tissue.

"Thank you." I said with a whiny, cry voice. I sounded pathetic.

"Just fill it out and when you're finished, bring it to me at the desk right over there. " She pointed at the desk in the corner.

I faked a smile and nodded again.

I filled it out and gave it to the lady at the desk. She smiled and thanked me.

I saw a gurney being moved to a room. The person was pale and bald. Of course, I knew right away that it was Jake. I followed then to a room down the hall. It was small and had a window on the back wall. A small tv in front of the bed. They put him on the bed and left.

"I-is it okay to go in.?" I asked. I must've looked disgusting because the nurse gave me a funny look.

"Y-yeah. Go ahead. He's stable for now." She said. Her voice was a lot lower than the other nurse's voice. He hair was black and she had on pink scrubs.

I walked in after thanking the nurse and looked at him. He was asleep. It was one of the few times I've seen him without his beanie on. He's just a handsome as when he does.

He had many monitors booked up to him already. Wires and tubes everywhere. They didn't have to put a tube down his throat though.

I sat in the small little chair by the window. I just looked at him. Thinking how much I loved him.

I sobbed. I buried my face in my hands and leaned on my knees. Trying to be quiet so I didn't wake him. My mascara burned my eyes. I grabbed a tissue from the side table by the bed. I whipped my eyes and looked at him again.

The love of my life, laying in a hospital bed.

A doctor opened the door after knocking quietly.

I dropped my feet to the floor and got up. "H-hello." I choked out. My throat felt like the it had closed up from crying.

"Hello. Is this Jake's room?" He asked. His voice was deep and his hair was grey. The sparkle of his eyes gave him this comforting look.

I nodded.

"Let's talk in the hall."

I followed him out into the poorly lit hallway. He looked at me and then at his clipboard. Then back to me.

I'm sure my face looked concerned.

"I'm never sure how to tell anyone this. Bur, Jake has cancer, which I'm sure you already know. But he's in his last stage or so. It's hard to say how long he will be with us from here on out. He has weak bones and a weak immune system. He could crash at any second. And he won't be able to breath well. He could, quote possible pass on through the night. Or he could keep fighting for a few more weeks or months. It's really hard telling at this point. But we would like to keep him here until he shows any kind of rehabilitation." He explained to me.

It took me a minute to process it. I stood in shock. He could die overnight. He could die next week. He could die next month. Who knows? My brain was running and jumping to conclusions non-stop.

I nodded. Then I blankly said, "thank you," and went back inside the room.

His eyes were open, staring out the window. "Hi, P-princess." He said. It came out in a whisper.

I felt tears sting my eyes again. "Hi, sweetie."

I sat next to him on the bed, ever so carefully. I curled up next to him and felt his cool skin. He was so cold. He had an oxygen thingy under his nose.

The heart monitor sped up the beeping. He was happy to see me.

I looked down at my ring. The engagement ring he gave me when he asked me to marry him. The shine on the diamond from the window made it glisten.

Then an idea popped in my head. Why don't we get married now? Who knows how much time he has left?

"What if we got married? Right here. Right now." I said out of no where.

I heard the shuffle of the sheet from him moving his head. "Julie. How are we supposed to have a wedding in a hospital room, and me barley being able to get my words out?" He croaked.

"We get a minister and have him marry us." I said. I looked up at him. "we don't need a big fancy wedding. I just want to be able to call you my husband."

He smiled. Then nodded. "Let's do it."