Battle scars

• I dont understand •

JAKES POV

I couldn't get the image of her scars out of my head. The fact that she got our of that situation alive, appalls me. I don't know how she did it. I laid in bed, awake all night. Julie would move every once in a while.s he mostly laid her head in my chest.

Soon enough it was morning and the sun was up. I noticed Julie was by my side anymore. I must be fixed off for a bit. I got out of bed and rubbed my eyes.

I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror. I take off my beanie and just look at myself. If she can survive that, I can survive this. I know it's crazy to compare the two but I know I can.

Julie was in the kitchen, making eggs and biscuits and gravy. She seemed so happy. A smile in her face as she cooked. She's so beautiful. I love her, more than I love anyone else. Everyone else has left, because they're afraid of losing me. Afraid that one days, that's just going to be it. Sometimes I wish I could leave too. But you can't run away from yourself. I act like I'm jot scared, but inside, I am tired and scared. I'm scared that today could be my last.

Julie hasn't left. Maybe that's one of the reasons she is so important to me. She is the one person that has stick around.

I drop my beanie in the floor. I hadn't even realized I was crying, I was so lost in my thoughts. I sobbed a little loud. I didn't mean too. The tears spring down my face. My nose running. I sobbed again. Again, I didn't mean to.

I heard a knock on the door. "Jake? Are you okay?" It was Julie.

I couldn't even get my words out. I opened the door, and looked at her. She stared straight into my eyes. Her beautiful eyes, looking at me, broke me more. I hugged her. It was all o could do.

"What's wrong?" She asked in a whisper.

I got my words out. "I'm terrified."

She held me tighter. "of what?"

"Leaving." I sobbed again. "I'm afraid of leaving. Dying."

She ran her fingers through my little bit if hair. Then she took my hand and led me to the couch. "Jake. Don't be afraid. When you... go, Jesus will be wait at those Pearl Gates for you. And then I will see you, before you know it. Don't be afraid. It's okay."

"No! It's not okay!" I stood up, yelling. "How could he do this to me?! How could God let me suffer like this?!"

She just looked at me, with a concerned face. "I dont know, honey."

I paced the floors. "Why can't he just make me better?! I don't.." I fell to my knees, and out my head into my hands. "I don't understand.. this is the kind of stuff you see in movies. I never thought it would actually happen.."

She walked over to me and wiped my tears. "Jake, I don't know. But I know he has a plan for you."

I suddenly notice everything get blurry. I hear her tell my name but it's faint. After that, everything went black.