The tale of Mayumi

Chapter 61 - Certified Menaces

It was one of those days where absolutely nothing productive was going to happen. Mayumi, Hikaru, Naruto, Shikamaru, Sakura, and Kakashi were all gathered in the park, lounging under a tree, talking about absolutely nothing of importance.

It had started out normal. And then, as usual, it got ridiculous.

"Okay," Naruto announced, stretching his arms behind his head. "If we were all in a different time period, who would we be?"

"Shikamaru would be some lazy philosopher who never actually wrote anything down," Sakura said immediately.

Shikamaru shrugged. "Not inaccurate."

"Naruto would be a traveling salesman," Mayumi added. "You know, one of those people trying to sell you weird snake oil that does absolutely nothing, but he somehow convinces everyone to buy it."

Naruto gasped in offense. "Hey! I have integrity!"

"No, you don't," Hikaru said.

"No, you don't," Kakashi echoed, flipping a page in his book.

Naruto pouted. "Okay, well, if I'm a scam artist, then Kakashi's one of those cryptic old monks on top of a mountain that people travel miles to see, just for him to say something vague like 'the answer is within' and then make them leave."

"I'd do that for free," Kakashi admitted.

Sakura smirked. "Mayumi would be the town troublemaker. A rogue thief, stealing bread and causing chaos."

"Excuse me, I'd be a mysterious and sophisticated rogue thief," Mayumi corrected.

"You'd be a nuisance," Hikaru muttered.

"I'd like to think I'd be a knight," Hikaru said dramatically. "Brave. Noble. Handsome."

"You'd be the first knight in history to get kicked out for flirting too much," Mayumi deadpanned.

"That's slander."

"It's accurate."

The conversation spiraled from there.

Twenty Minutes Later...

"I'm just saying," Mayumi argued, standing up, "if I had to fight a horse-sized duck or fifty duck-sized horses, I'd take the fifty duck-sized horses every time."

"Wrong," Naruto said. "The duck-sized horses would swarm you! You'd get overwhelmed!"

"I have telekinesis, idiot. I'd just yeet them away."

"Why are we even talking about this?" Sakura groaned.

"We have nothing better to do," Kakashi answered, still reading his book.

Shikamaru sighed. "This is so troublesome."

"That's not a denial," Hikaru pointed out.

Shikamaru didn't even argue.

Another Thirty Minutes Later...

Naruto had somehow convinced Mayumi to levitate him again. This time, she had him floating dramatically in the air while he monologued like some sort of ancient wizard.

"I AM THE GREAT FLOATING NINJA," Naruto bellowed, arms outstretched. "FEAR ME."

"Put him in a tree," Kakashi suggested, not looking up from his book.

Mayumi did exactly that.

"...Hey. HEY! THIS IS NOT FUNNY!" Naruto yelled from the branches.

"It's kinda funny," Hikaru said.

It only got worse from there.

Shikamaru ended up napping under the tree. Naruto was still stuck up there, arguing with a very confused bird. Mayumi was trying to steal Kakashi's book just to mess with him. Hikaru was dramatically declaring his own greatness to literally no one. And Sakura was sitting there, watching all of them, wondering why she willingly spent time with these absolute disasters.

And somehow, it was the best day ever.