The tale of Mayumi

Chapter 91 - The Great Konoha Prank War

It started, as most of their disasters did, with Hikaru being petty.

"I declare war," Hikaru announced one morning, arms crossed.

Mayumi, lounging lazily across the couch, arched a brow. "War?"

"A prank war," he clarified, narrowing his eyes. "You ruined my date."

Kakashi, reading his book at the kitchen table, turned a page. "You ruined your own date."

"I would've handled it!" Hikaru shot back. "But no, you had to spy, and then Mayumi had to laugh me into humiliation."

Mayumi smirked. "No regrets."

Hikaru's eyes gleamed. "Good. Because I won't have any either."

And then the war began.
______________________

The next morning, Mayumi woke up to find their house filled—absolutely filled—with rubber ducks.

Thousands.

They spilled from the kitchen, stacked in the hallway, covered the furniture.

Mayumi stared.

Kakashi, standing by the door, sighed. "I hate that I saw this coming."

Mayumi picked up a duck. Squeezed it. It let out a pathetic little squeak.

"Oh," she whispered, eyes darkening. "It's on."
_______________

Later that day, Hikaru walked into his home—only to find it completely gone.

Correction: Not gone.

Just... wrong.

Because when he stepped outside and looked up—

—all his furniture was floating atop the Hokage Monument.

Hikaru stared.

His entire living room set hovered in the sky, balanced perfectly across the stone heads of Konoha's greatest leaders.

A couch rested on Minato's forehead. His bed was somehow propped against Hashirama's nose. And his dresser dangled precariously over Tobirama's left eye.

A single note fluttered down from above.

"Quack."

Hikaru's eye twitched.
_______________________

Kakashi, being the reasonable adult in the house, chose to stay out of it.

Which was why, when he walked into his bedroom that night, he was deeply unamused to find his bed replaced with an inflatable kiddie pool.

A pool filled with rubber ducks.

Mayumi, standing in the doorway, lost it.

"Oh my god," she gasped between laughs. "He actually did it."

Kakashi exhaled slowly. "I have had enough."

And then he joined the war.

• Kakashi somehow convinced the Inuzuka dogs to steal all of Hikaru's clothes.
• Hikaru retaliated by replacing Mayumi's shampoo with bright Green hair dye.
• Mayumi, unfazed, owned the green hair and convinced half the village it was a new fashion trend.
• Kakashi, using his years of ANBU stealth, snuck into Hikaru's room and switched all his belongings backwards. (Drawers flipped, shoes reversed, even his bed turned completely around.)
• Hikaru, furious, replaced every single mask in Kakashi's collection with embarrassing ones—puppies, kittens, even a giant duck beak.
• Mayumi stole every single door in Hikaru's house. All of them.

By the end of the week, the village was done with them.

______________

Naruto finally called them into his office, arms crossed.

"You three need to stop."

Mayumi, sitting cross-legged on the chair, grinned. "Why?"

"Because you're turning Konoha into a battlefield." Naruto sighed. "I just got reports of flying furniture, color-coded dogs, and Hikaru wandering around confused because he has no doors."

Hikaru huffed. "That was unnecessary."

Mayumi smirked. "It was hilarious."

Kakashi, perfectly calm, sipped his tea. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Naruto groaned, rubbing his temples. "Just—stop before someone explodes something."

Mayumi saluted. "No promises."
___________

Just when they thought it was over—

Kakashi walked into his study that evening, picked up a book, and flipped it open—

—only to realize all his books had been replaced.

With romance novels.

But not just any romance novels.

Romance novels Mayumi had written as a joke.

Kakashi stared at the title.

"The Mysterious Masked Lover: A Tale of Forbidden Passion."

Slowly, he turned to Mayumi.

She blinked. Then gasped. "No."

Kakashi held up the book, unimpressed. "You wrote this?"

Mayumi launched herself across the room, trying to snatch it from his hands. "YOU WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT."

Kakashi dodged effortlessly, flipping to a random page.

His eyes skimmed the words.

Then.

He smirked.

Mayumi paled.

"Oh, this is fantastic," Kakashi mused. "The silver-haired shinobi ran his fingers down her cheek, voice husky as he whispered—"

Mayumi lunged.

Hikaru, watching from the doorway, howled with laughter.

"I win," he declared. "I win the prank war."

Mayumi, attempting to wrestle the book away from Kakashi, screamed.