Johannah Deakin demands paternity test
There seems to be yet another person on the wrong side of the bed! According to our personal source that is in fact Johannah Deakin, Johannah is not at all happy with the baby news.
"She's not right for Louis. He likes brunettes. Brunette girls. She's, well, blonde."
Johannah knows her son better than the pubes on her vagina, and she knows Louis adores brunette women. She says since Briana is blonde she doesn't think it would work.
"Louis belongs with someone who has brown hair and a thin figure. As his ex girlfriend Eleanor. Eleanor was lovely."
She smiled. She must miss her ex daughter-in-law.
"Eleanor has these gorgeous brown eyes and she's perfect. She's recently opened up her own website, amd I believe she's modeling now. No wonder, she's a goddess. Louis loved her. He misses her. One time she helped him while he was sick. Not Harry. You know who it was? Not Harry :). Eleanor's doing great. Oh, Eleanor."
We proceeded to ask, "And your son? His band?"
"Oh. Buy drag me down on ITunes."
Justin Bieber goes on Beyond Scared Straight
Niall Horan claims Harry's baby
Mariah Carey loses voice
YOU ARE READING
Louis, You Are Not the Father.
FanfictionA fandom's humor, a tabloid's humiliation. cover by @diversions There is a Spanish, Italian, Polish, and English version. This is in English, see my reading list for more. Published August 4, 2014.
