Halcyon

brutally honest

Your messages — funny and contemplative;
Just ‘cause I lied that it’s how I liked it.
Casually cruel, blue-tick bruise or betrayed — last seen —
You’re not sure which is worse.

You asked if I was angry, upset,
And I rehearsed my formulaic no.
I dared to ask the reason,
But you wouldn’t name the feeling that birthed the treason.

You apologised for disturbing, still asked if I was alright —
It might’ve been romantic if my heart were just right.
Your messages came like an unwanted deluge, like a biased judge,
But you confessed you just wanted to talk to someone you liked, not nudge.

“I want to tell you all my news,” you smiled.
Compliments on my outfits, said you thought I was cute.
I claimed that you were awfully formal,
You grinned — “Aw, you’re just being teased.”

But how do I tell you your grin never lit me up?
That I was searching for a phantom, not your kind of friend?
You shouldn’t have told your mom I was the one, babe.
Because your dream of forever —
Held me, brutally honest, and my never.