Team Sparia

Chapter 35 - "Are you insane?"

Spencer's POV
I wait a few minutes after Aria leaves before leaving the apartment myself. I lied to Aria, I wasn't going to meet Caleb, I was going to see Cassie. I hated lying to Aria but I knew that if she knew who I was really going to see she would flip.

I arrive at the diner a low key spot where I was sure we wouldn't run into people we knew and people wouldn't care what we were doing. Not that we were doing anything really. I slide into the booth that Cassie was sat at and she smiles at me. "Hey, you look good." She greets.
"Thanks." I reply wearily. I squint my eyes at her trying to read her expression but she looked cool and calm with a bright smile, almost like a friend meeting another friend for lunch.
"Don't you want to order anything?" She asks scanning her menu. I look at the piece of card and shake my head. Aria was right, I was practically blind and I didn't feel like holding the menu right up to my face just so I could read it.
"Erm," I say awkwardly the menu had thrown my confidence. "I'm not hungry."
"That's a shame, they have a really nice cherry pie." Cassie says setting her menu down.
"Cut the crap Cass, what do you want?" I ask feeling agitated. She was making this whole thing seem like something it wasn't. "Why did you call me?"
"You need to tell Aria about the motel." She says flat out like it didn't mean that my whole relationship would be ruined. I laugh before realising that she was being deadly serious.
"What?" I ask not fully comprehending her.
"Either you tell her or I do. You choose." She says.
"Are you insane?" I ask shaking my head in disbelief. She was not threatening to tell Aria - why would she?
"You're getting married to her, you can't have secrets." Cassie begins leaning back in the booth. "You come clean and she forgives you, then that's great."
"And what happens when I come clean and she kicks me out of her life again, for good?" I ask feeling my anger bubble.
"Then you and I can finally be together." She says. I stare at her for a long moment trying to decide if she was joking or not. When I realise she's being serious I shake my head.
"You're crazy." I spit. "If you think that I would be with you when you've ruined the only good thing in my life then you're completely, bat shit, crazy." People were glancing our way now.
"Spencer, she doesn't make you happy like I could." Cassie argues. I can't believe she's saying this to me. "You have to admit that you felt something when you kissed me."
"No I didn't." I didn't appricate being cornered this way nor did I appreciate her trying to destroy my relationship. "That was a mistake Cass, a drunken mistake that I thought you wanted to forget?" I cock my head to the side my voice still angry.
"I did!" She bursts and now people do turn to look at us. I give them a glare and they turn back around to their food. "I tried to forget Spencer, I did, but I... I couldn't." She shakes her head.

"You called me Cass." She says after a moment like she just realised.
"Well yeah." I say quietly my anger had ebbed away. I knew how it felt to feel unrequited feelings for another person. "You're my friend... Were my friend." I say.
"I don't want to do this Spence but, if I can't have you then no one can." She says. I check my watch and see that it's only half past twelve and I was feeling slightly peckish.
"Er, can you read the menu for me?" I ask feeling really stupid. She frowns but smiles obviously amused. "Okay shut up, I'm hungry and I have to go to the eye doctor because apparently I'm blind." I say smiling back at her. She laughs picking up the menu. She reads a few choices out and I stop her at a burger and fries. Cassie nods her head in approval and orders the same thing as me. Despite Cassie's obvious flaws, she was actually nice to hang out with and I wanted to be her friend.

"Tell me about your eyes." Cassie says picking up a fry and eating it.
"It's not that big of a deal." I say dismissively. "I've always had problems it's just recently got a little too noticeable." I reply digging into my food. "Aria says I'm blind but it's not that bad."
"Dude, I literally had to read the menu to you." Cassie reminds me and I laugh.
"True." I admit.
"So, speaking of the fiancé, where is she?" Cassie asks.
"She's out for lunch with Mr Fitz." I reply shrugging. I didn't like Mr Fitz one bit and I didn't like how Aria was going out for lunch with him, but if she knew who I was with, she would probably feel the exact same way.
"The ex?" Cassie turns her head to the side and I give a nod in response.
"Yeah, the ex." I say a little grudgingly. "They're just catching up."
"Sure they are." Cassie says. I could hear the double meaning behind her words but I didn't feel like arguing again.
"Listen Cass, I should get going." I stand up throwing a few bills on the table to pay for my food.
"Spencer, I still meant what I said, either you tell her or I do." She looks into my eyes for a long moment her blue eyes sparkling.
"Fine." I give up besides Cassie was right, even if her reasons were twisted, I had lied to Aria and I should tell her what happened that night - not that anything did happen at all. I walk out of the diner not looking back for a second. Aria had to understand, she just had to.

It was two in the afternoon when Aria got back from her catch up with Mr Fitz. She comes through the door and stalls immediately when she sees me standing by the couch. "Oh, hey, I didn't think you'd be home. I thought that you'd still be with Caleb." She says hanging her jacket in the coat rack.
"I didn't go out with Caleb." I say and the tone of my voice must have sent red flags up to Aria.
"Spence, what's up?" She asks stepping closer to me. I step back when she steps forward which causes her face to contort into a look of pain. It killed me to see that look on her face and to know that I was the cause of it. I had to just come out and say it.
"I had lunch with Cassie." I blurt out. Stupid, she didn't need to know that either. For a moment she looks confused, then she stares me right in the eyes, I didn't need glasses to tell me that she was pissed.
"What did you do?" She says cautiously her voice tight.
"Actually, it happened a while ago, the night I kissed her." I confess. "I kissed her and then I passed out in the alleyway so she took me to a motel because she didn't know where I lived-" I ramble and Aria cuts me off.
"Did you sleep with her?" Aria asks her face may be emotionless but I can see the fracture in her eyes.
"No, of course I didn't! I would never do that to you. I was passed out, I didn't wake up until the morning and I had no idea where I was." I continue.
"I don't understand Spencer, why are you telling me this?" Aria asks. She's still tense but she's easing up a little.
"Because Cassie threatened to tell you herself even though nothing happened." I assure her.
"Were you ever going to tell me the truth?" She asks. I stay silent basically answering her question. "I can't believe you. You lied to me, again."
"That was back when I wasn't me, when I was struggling but I'm better now and I would never do that to you ever again." I step towards her this time and she doesn't move away which is a good sign - maybe.
"But you are better and you still kept it a secret." She whispers looking at the ground. I shake my head trying to hold back my tears.
"Aria, I didn't think you needed to know." I beg taking another step towards her. Her head snaps up to glare at me before she takes a step back - a bad sign.
"You didn't think I needed to know?" She says in disbelief. "For God's sake Spencer, I'm going to marry you and have children with you one day and you say you didn't think I needed to know." She asks in disbelief. I stare at her, shell shocked by what she had just said.
"You want to have kids with me?" I ask sounding surprised. Aria rubs her face wiping away a few tears. I want to comfort her but I know she'll just push me away.
"Of course I do Spencer, I want to have kids with you because you'd be a great mother and having a mini you running around the house would be adorable." Aria shakes her head shoving the image from her mind but I want to hear more about our future. "I wish I hadn't fallen in love with you." She says heartbrokenly. I feel my own heart shatter, the dream that Aria had just put in my head disperses.
"Then don't." I answer back simply. She looks at me then and suddenly I see her eyes light up and a fire inside her.
"I can't." She says shaking her head. "I can't stop loving you Spencer Jill Hastings. My life before you and I is just a blur, I don't think it really even began before you kissed me that night."
"I want to have kids with you one day too." I chime in stepping forward. "In our own house, when we're married and I have a job to support my beautiful family. I know that I can't stop loving you too Aria. We're bound you and I and although we're not lawfully bound we're still bound together." I'm in front of her now but I don't move to touch her. "Love is twisted, it makes wrong look right and right look wrong."
"I don't think I can survive loving you." She mutters diverting her eyes from mine.
"You can." I say with such conviction she actually looks up at me, our eyes connecting. "Because I can survive your love. Did you hear me before? I want to have kids with you, I want to have a big house where we can raise them," I cup her face in my hands and stare right into her eyes. "And I want to love you for the rest our miserable lives because you're the single most beautiful thing on this planet to me, I don't think I've ever loved before, at least, not like this." I crash my lips onto her's and grunt when I feel her arms wrap around my neck pulling me harder onto her lips. The kiss was hungrily passionate. I had been so focused on the now part of our lives that I hadn't even thought of our future together. Aria pulls away from the kiss and wraps her arms securely around my back hugging me tightly to her. I wrap my arms around her waist and we just stand there, holding onto each other.

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Next chapter is going to be Christmas, yey! Spanna are going to be reunited as well as emaria and then Spannilaria, I totally just made that up. I feel like the four of them do have a ship name I just don't know what it is, so I'm just going to go with Spannilaria. Say it in an Italian accent it sounds better.

Then you're all going to hate me because I have big plans and it's going to screw everything up. It's going to change the whole book. I'm excited but scared you won't like it.

Just so you know, I love you.

Ps. Sorry for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes.