Kissed By The Baddest Bidder Fanfiction

My True Feelings- Eisuke

I had been in a particular fandom for well over a year now. It was an otome based fandom. I enjoyed the stories I was reading so much that I started to create my own. It had a shaky start but I did manage to get some readers after patiently waiting several months. I thought everything was going well and good until I hit my first obstacle. I was harshly criticized on my writing style, this sent me over the edge and nearly ended my writing career. I managed to recover but I never was quite the same after it.

It seems I can't write just for myself, instead I write to please others. That was what made me happy. But lately people have started to lose interest in my writing. I'm not even sure what I'm doing wrong. I try so hard to do the best I can but I just feel it's not good enough.

"Maybe this story will yield better results." I finished typing up my latest story and posted it to my blog. Then it was the waiting game. I browsed through some forums on my phone trying to take my mind off of it, otherwise I'd be checking every few seconds.

After an adequate amount of time passes, I open up my blog on my phone and check to see the status of my latest story.

"Oh...." I sighed sadly. Unfortunately my story had very few notes. I couldn't help but feeling down on myself about it. I then browsed through the different tags and came across a story a friend of mine had wrote and posted just after mine.

"Sixty likes already..." I felt like my chest was being squeezed. I knew I should be happy for her but it just hurt so much. She had only been in the fandom for several months compared to my seventeen months. And she was already doing better than me. All I could think of was how I must be a failure of a writer.

I wanted to cry. Not only did my friend get more attention but so did many other users fresh in the fandom. I didn't know what I was doing wrong...

"I can't let this get me down... I need to keep on trying." I told myself, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"What's wrong now?"

I suddenly heard a voice from besides me and looked over to see Eisuke standing there looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

I quickly sat up on the bed, "It's nothing..." I shook my head but he continued to drill me.

"I don't think it's nothing. It's to do with your writing again, isn't it?" Eisuke asked, he steadied his gaze on me.

I tensed up at his statement and then let my shoulders drop, "Yes..." I sadly muttered.

The next thing I knew, Eisuke was on the bed besides me.

"You really need to stop beating yourself up over it. I know how hard you work on your stories. It's not your fault, they just don't know what they are missing." He said in an attempt to comfort me.

I just sat there thinking about what he said. I still couldn't fully get my head around it. I couldn't stop thinking how I must be an awful writer. I just didn't understand anything... Was it because I wouldn't write smut? I know everyone in the fandom goes crazy for that but I have no interest in it. Or was it because I was terrible at description? I just didn't know...
I was still deep in thought when Eisuke spoke, "Hey, stop getting so worked up over it." I jumped at the sound of his voice.

"Sorry..." I grumbled. I could see Eisuke was getting tired of my whining.

"Don't apologize. You just need to snap out of it. If writing is affecting you so badly maybe it's time you quit." Eisuke suddenly stated, his words shocked me.

"What?" I gasped.

"I'm not joking. You should stop before it brings you down even further. I can see it plain as day that you aren't enjoying it." Eisuke's voice resounded clearly in my mind.