Dandelion heart (A faeries soul sequel) Elfman and Evergreen

Breaking the ice

Elfman sighed and stepped out onto the balcony that was almost slippery with morning frost, and bunched his old blue coat in his hands. Wincing as the cold attacked his bare feet, the white haired man approached the rail and looked out to the glorious view in front of him. But he didn't take it it. In fact he felt more than terrible, emotionally and physically. Steam rolling out of his mouth; Elfman thought gravely about the past four days after the night at the beach. He has had little to no sleep over the past week let alone the past four days, but at the moment he has been able to handle it differently. Instead of just thrashing in bed and waking up Ever (which surprised him that she even let him stay in the bed) he has been able to force himself awake and stare at the wall, trying to calm himself down and stop himself from crying out or making any noise that would disturb the woman next to him. And because of this lack of sleep, his body did not have the energy to heal his severely damaged shoulders, throat, and his internal organs which were only now beginning to hurt him because of his distress. And even with Wendy's help he seemed to be going down hill. And it was causing the entire group to get nervous and snappish with each other as they concerned over him when they thought he wasn't looking. But despite all his ailments, he couldn't give a single damn about them compared to what he has done to Ever. They have hardly spoken during the past four days, well Evergreen hardly spoke, Elfman couldn't have even if he wanted too. The only time she spoke to him was if the situation demanded it and even the she didn't make eye contact. And it broke his heart.
What do I do? How do I make this right? Elfman thought to himself.

"Uh...Apologize" his inner voice said back to him obviously.

Oh what and say "I'm sorry for making you pregnant". That would make everything worse considering she was or is happy about being pregnant, Elfman thought and hissed with exasperation.

"And you're not?"

Elfman blinked at the strange question his inner voice asked and scrubbed his face in confusion. No...yes..I don't know! I could be hurting her dammit. And its not manly to hurt the people you love! Elfman thought, angry with himself and blinked back tears. Blinking Elfman looked at the dark blue jacket shirt in his hands and looked at the familiar kanji letter "greatest". This was another problem. Ever since the beach, Evergreen had not once put this jacket on once. And despite the fact that she lets him stay in the bed with her, Elfman couldn't help but feel as if she was going to make some drastic changes to their relationship and he did not want that at all.
What can I do? What do I say Elfman asked himself when familiar wisdom from his sisters came back to him before he and Evergreen got together.

"Tell her the truth, Elf-nii chan. Tell her how you feel" the memory of Lisanna's advice said to him.

Tell her the truth and how I feel? Elfman asked himself. Well I have already told the truth, so that leaves how I feel. Doesn't it?

Elfman sighed. He would give anything to wind the clock back and give himself the time to prepare what he said to her, without hurting her. But if only she gave him a moment to explain to apologize. But when ever he tried to write something she suddenly found some excuse to quickly leave him alone. And he hated being alone. It reminded him of the loneliness he felt in the pit. Taking his magic pen in his hand, Elfman thought long and hard about what he wanted to say, wishing so much that he could speak and say and show to the world how he felt. But he couldn't. Spinning the pen in between his fingers Elfman thought and thought and thought. Until his ears twitched when weight made the floor boards inside rub against each other in a way that was dead silent to others but loud and clear to him. Turning his head quickly, Elfman saw Evergreen's beautiful face snap towards him nervously, before hurriedly looking away and moving rapidly towards the door.