An Initiates Baby

Chapter Five - God

Before the war that destroyed the city and the surroundings outside the fence, people believe in a god, someone that they could pray to and believe in to help them in hard times, what if there is a god now? Why would he, or she, or even they, allow the war to happen? To let this happen? Why would they allowed me to get pregnant through a drunken one-night stand? I stay alone in my apartment for the next few days, thanks the past me for stocking up on groceries beforehand, Amar checks up on me and I just tell him that it was a bug, I might tell him the truth later on, but for now I just want to do this on my own, I can't tell Eric.

I don't even know if I will, but then I know that he at least has that right to know. When it came to putting the initiates through the fear simulations, I came out of my funk and decided to continue with life even with this metaphorical and soon to be real bump in my life. As I was dressing that morning I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror, then noticed that I looked like I bloated, I shrugged it off,  and continued getting ready, I knew I wanted to tell Amar about the pregnancy but I was scared on the questions he would ask, I know he would like to know who got me pregnant, but can I trust him with the real answer and would he report it.

I sighed and shrugged it off for later. I found Amar in the simulation room and shut the door behind me.

"Amar, can we talk?" I asked timidly, I was started to feel nervous and sick. He glanced up at me quickly before shutting off the computer and giving me his full attention.

"What's up, Bubbles?" I laughed through tears, my eyes were watering from nerves.

"I'm pregnant." I announce, the sick feeling coming back stronger. Amars eyes widen at the news and I fidget in his gaze.

"Wow.." He says and I nod.

"I know right." I bit my lip, "It was a shocker for me too."

"But who's the dad?" He asks, and I freeze.

"If I tell you can you keep it a secret, I don't want anyone to know, not even him." Amar stares at me for a moment, then sighs and nods.

"It's Eric." I say, almost whispering, "Eric's the father, it was the party a while back, I was hammered and I don't know if he was but I woke up the next day and he was in my bed and we were both naked but that's all that happened we're not in a long-standing relationship or anything." I tell him, trying to make the situation seem less bad than what it already was.

Amar shakes his head, "Bubbles, this could end really badly."

"Yeah, I know, but I trusted you to tell you, the only other person that knows I'm pregnant is the nurse, I just told her I didn't know the father." I explain to him then sigh, "Look, I'll figure this out after the initiation, and if I tell Eric by then we'll figure something out can we just, keep quiet about it until I can tell him after initiation, please Amar." I beg, and he nods giving me a quick hug before getting the initiates.

I sigh in relief.

Then freeze again when Eric walks in with Amar, I stay by the computer as Amar explains what's going to happen and he injects Eric with the fluid and we watch his fears come to life.

First; The inability of being in control, everything was in chaos and no matter how he tried to fix things, it got worse, he eventually got through it by calming himself down.

Second; Being a failure, this was portrayed as being the last in rankings then this continued into another fear.

Third; Poverty. In this case becoming factionless.

Since this was only the first time trying, we only went through three fears, and this gave Eric the time of 12:34, not bad for a first time. I entered the data into the computer as Amar calmed Eric down and explained that there would be more.

"There's more?" Eric exclaimed, but calmed himself down. Amar gave him a drink of water then asked him to send someone else in, telling him he had the rest of the day off to do whatever, Eric nodded towards Amar then looked at me for a brief time before leaving the room. I sighed and Amar laughed a little.

"He has it bad." Amar chuckled. I look at him in confusion, "He's in love with you Bubbles!" He laughed and I shake my head, blushing.

"He's not, shut up." I shove him away from me as he laughs. Most of the day is wasted going through the simulations and Amar can't get over how Four, who was Stiff, but Amar gave him that nickname to symbolise him only having four fears, and how quick he went through them, but if he continued he could end up being high on rankings.

I grab some food from the store to stock up at home and I drop the bag when I bump into someone, I sigh then get on my knees, not wanting to cause any damage to the baby, even if it's small, if I'm going through this, I'm doing it right.

Whoever I bumped into helped me father the food back into the bag. I look up to thank them.

"Thanks.. Oh, hey Eric." I say nervously, he shuffles on his feet.

"Hey Belle, are we okay? I mean.." He trails off and I gather what he's getting at.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine I'm just.." I sigh, "I can't tell you now, if you get through initiation I can just not whilst you're a initiate, it's nothing against you.." I explain and he nods, smiling weakly.

"Don't worry about it." He says before leaving me there, walking around me to leave me standing in the middle of the corridor. I bite my tongue to stop myself and rush towards my apartment.