Imara Diversifies The Beastmen World

Chapter One Hundred and Sixty One: The Return to Us

Harvey's POV

Something serious must have happened to her in the days we were gone. Especially in those last few days when she didn't contact us at all. That was my first thought when I saw her like that, shaking, breathless, unraveling in an anxiety attack so deep it terrified me.

"My love... just let it out," I said.

But never — never — would I have guessed she would say what she shared.

Watching my love fear what bonding does to her... how could I not understand her? Her fears rolled through me, beating against my own chest as if they were mine. It tore me apart to see her suffering under something she has to adapt to because of what our bond will do to her, and keep doing, for the rest of her life... because of us. Because of me. I felt so many emotions twisting inside me, because to us beastmen, bonding and what it means is natural. Instinctive.

A truth we're born into.

How was I supposed to put that into words she could understand while she was drowning in her own overwhelmingness?

Normally, my presence calms her. Normally, she leans into me, breathes easier, steadies. But this time... this time my nearness shook her even more. Because everything she was saying, everything she was terrified of was the truth of what is normal to us.

My very presence as her mate made it undeniable.

But that's the thing. It's the way of the beastmen.

Which she is not.

She says it isn't right.. and she's right. It is unnatural for her. She is going through that for me. To take on bonding and it not be what she would naturally experience... that has to be terrifying.

So for the first time in my life, I had no idea what to do with her in such a delicate state. I knew what I wanted to do, hold her, steady her, take the fear from her but was that right?

Would it push her even further away from me? I already can't feel the air in my lungs because I'm not able to soothe her with my love right now. I don't want her fear to pull her even more withdrawn from me.

How could I tell her not to fear when I understand exactly why she feels the way she does?

She is in my world.

I am not in hers.

She has made my way her way. It only makes sense that some things would be too much to ask of her. Some things she simply cannot do, cannot accept... and maybe shouldn't have to.

Oh Beast God... what am I supposed to do? Because this time, it isn't something I can remedy

It's our bond.

With knowing it was the truth of our bond she was struggling with, I felt the root of us become disturbed and it scared me deeply. I can't live without her. The thought of losing even the smallest part of her, the feeling of her pulling away from me in any way, pulled me into a deep unknownness.

The only thing I could think to do was pray.

So I prayed.

Beast God, I need your help. I come before you for my mate. Show me the way for me or any one of us to reach her and bring her back, so she no longer feels she will lose herself to us, or to me. I would never do such a thing to her, nor allow it. Help me help her in the way she needs.

He answered immediately through Horace. Relief washed through me the moment I felt it.

I am always aware of how blessed I am to have Imara as my mate, but in that moment it struck me again her very words, her very being, are the relief I will live in forever. She wasn't rejecting our bond. She was rejecting the loss of her autonomy, something I will never let happen.