I WISH I WAS BESIDE YOU

HOLDING ON

ASHTON
I don't know how much longer I can hold on I've waited a really long time to be able to marry Lucy I've realized now that cates and Luke did the smart thing. I just want to be married ij know two of my best friends just went through a horrible thing and call me selfish but I don't wanna wait til April 8th that's still two weeks away. I'm supposed to be a married man. Cates and angel are fine their mostly healed even though its only been a few days their injuries weren't two extreme. "Lucy will you marry me" I asked her she laughed"yes Ashton you already did the whole proposal thing remember". "I know I did but babe I want you to be my wife Cates and angel are mostly healed j don't wanna wait I wanna be married already".

"Ashton that's so sweet and so do I you know that but the church dident have an opening for our time frame til April 8th" Lucy told me."Let's find another church then or go and beg them for an earlier slot I don't mind changing the time of our wedding luc. Please I've never wanted anything more in my life we have everything else" I said. "Okay if your that strong about it I can call the church see what they've got" she smiles"thank you so much I love you Lucy so much" I hugged her tightly.

"How would you like to get married on Friday at 9am they've got an opening" Lucy says a few minutes later. "Friday that's tomorrow I'd love too" I said excited I kissed her"Mrs Irwin" she says"I can't wait Til tomorrow" I laugh. Suddenly our flat door opens it was calum"mate I've fucked up" he says"how bad" I ask"very bad Sadie's on her way to new York as we speak" he says in tears. "WHAT" me and Lucy yell"oh my god what the hell happened" lucy says sitting calum down then leaving.

CALUMS POV
I still can't believe I almost lost Sadie but yet here she is laying in my arms things couldn't be perfect. "I got a lawyer internship for a company" she said kinda sad"Sades that great" I said kissing her"why aren't you excited this us big news baby girl we should celebrate" . "its in new York calum at Hammond and druthers" sadie said no no this I sent happening I thought. Were so perfect she's not leaving again after what happened last time there's no way shell leave me again"what'd you say" I asked her nervous.

She was looking down at her folded hands and was now facing me"I told them I don't know" Sadie replied she was also nervous"well you can't take this Sadie not after what happened last time" I told her serious. "So you choose now to be serious and its my dream calum I'm not sure I wanna let it go we are not the same couple we were 6 months ago" Sadie tells me. "Yeah that might be true but how could you even risk it" I said a bit louder. "You've got tour coming up in 2 weeks your gonna be gone anyways the internship is only a year cal" she argues. " A YEAR A DAMN YEAR come with me you can come with me" I said the last part softer.

"No I'm not going to give up my dreams so you can live yours that's not fair" Sadie raises her voice"the other girls have no problem with it so why do you" I spit back. "Because I'm not like them and angel still has her career her and Mikey seem to do fine our problem is you if I'm not there you won't text or call or Skype you didn't make much of an effort last tour either." Sadie reminds me"I'm not Michael either he's fine and good at this long distance shit I'm not I need you" I tell her.

"That's not enough calum could you marry me" she blurts out"what" I said I was so caught off guard I'm not ready for marriage not yet. "Are you ready fore marriage am I your person" she asks me"I mean I don't know maybe I'm not ready for marriage" I say. "Well if your not ready for that then I'm just wasting my time and there's no point in me staying" Sadie fights"OF COURSE THERE FUCKING IS I STILL LOVE YOU IS THAT NOT ENOUGH YOUR BEING A REAL BITCH RIGHT NOW" I yell at her. I immediately regretted it "babygirl" I start"NO DONT IM BEING THE BITCH YOUR BEING AN ASSHOLE IF YOU REALLY LOVED ME YOUD LET ME GO" she yells back this wasent good I huffed.

"Fine go go to new York and find some other fuckboy to make you happy" I call out"I will calum you know what fuck you fuck you and your god damn jet black heart. " she jabs her finger at me scowls then leaves good she should go I thought I don't need her I tell myself if she wants to be selfish she can. Oh god that's my heart my jet black heart talking what have I done i be lost her for good my baby girl"SADIE SADIE SADIE" I call out on the street no response she's really gone I put my hand through my hair. I'm an asshole a giant asshole I went back in and punched the wall then I cried.

Now I'm sitting here with Ashton since Luke wasent home"man you fucking idiot" he tells me"I know its unbelievable I was the biggest jack ass on the planet. I called her a bitch told her I could never marry her and to find a fuckboy" I cried out. "Calum calm down its okay she didn't actually break up with you did she" Ashton asks"no but she probably will" I say"giver her a week then call her" he smiles. Ashton hugs me tight"your going to be okay mate shell come around" he smiles at me. "Shit the weddings tomorrow we got it number up Lucy she can convince Sadie to come back for the wedding make up with her then. "Ashton rushes a bit of hope is restored"thanks a lot I think I'm gonna go to a bar drink some stuff" I hug home one more time then leave.

While I was there after a lot I was so wasted this girl flirted with me"got a girlfriend" she asks"ns nose gurll" I slurred. Took her back to my place and kissed her thing got heated clothes were thrown. I woke up so happy she came back Sadie came back she's here with me"thanks calum that's last was fun" a girl who wasn't Sadie said. "Shit" i cursed realizing what'd I'd done just then the door opened up it was Sadie"your so unbelievable Lucy convinces me to not go. To stay for her wedding she said how broken up you were guess you fixed that problem. I'm so pissed off at you how could you calum how could you were so over I can't even look at you I'm so hurt" she said Sadie was stoned cold. "Sades wait I was drunk I didn't know what was happening" I called.