This title is pretty self explanatory.
I really hate all science/biology/chemistry teachers.
Like in my freshman year last year my freshman biology teacher Mrs.W.
She really didn't like me. I had a few bestfriends in that class peep my crush too. (And before you ask I liked him for about 4 years now.) and so I got distracted and my friend distracte me slightly.
And she thought my friend distracted me so much (even though it was majority of my crush) like I used to be a genius at science, nothing could mess me up. It was my best subject. (let me tell you that the first week of school my crush wasn't in my class) until the second week I was probably doing something God know what I was doing that day. And the door opened and I didn't bother to turn around to face who it was and my friends look like they froze or was trying not to smile or laugh I was like wtf. So I turn around and BAMM.
There he was.
Why?!
My freshman year would be easy breezy if he didn't show up.
But he did.
And he always fucking distracted me with his good looks. Like his lips and face and how he dressed and his voice...oh god his deep voice.
Damn I could go on all day.
Okay but yeah he was honestly the reason my grades slipped and why I could never pay attention and why I got in trouble all the time for not paying attention.
So the teacher really grew a hatred for me I guess and she got my schedule changed into a smaller biology class so I could "pay attention" and not get distracted.
That day legit made me break down in small anxiety attacks no one knew about.
Like the day she brought me in an office with my mum and her and the principals I remember them saying "she needs to change classes. I'm sorry......" Then the rest of the words drowned out because it broke me.
All I fucking heard in my ears was a sharp tingling sound along with a ringing sound. My eyes blurred too and I was shaking.
I was breaking down because I had to split from my bestfriend. It wasn't just because of my crush.
It was all her.
She made my day. She was the one I trusted. She was the one who understood me better than anyone else could. She was the one who made me laugh. She made me feel happy and forget about being depressed deep down. She fixed me somehow...
Everything was going great until that day.
That day I hated all biology teachers. She had no idea how much that girl meant to me. Without my bestfriend with me. Fuck. I don't know how to function.
I remember crying hard and harder and they eventually told me I had one last week in that class before they officially change it.
So they let me go back to class. Before I went one of the teachers in there offered to give me some cookies.
yeah..sure...cookies will totally help with how I feel.
I still took the cookies tho.
I cried and ate them making my way up the hallway. I gripped the stairs banister thingy and tried to calm down so everyone in class didn't think I was crazy.
So I calmed down.
I walked into class and everyone looked at me. All I was thinking was shit. shit. shit. shit. Do. Not. Break. Down. don't you fucking dare.
I tried to smile.
I miserably failed ::).
So I looked up at my friend while I sat down. She knew I wasn't fooling her.
She knew me all too well.
So I saw her asking people what's wrong with me. I remember putting my head down Tryin to ignore the feeling of all of it. I remember feeling lonely. Scared. Confused. Hated. Angry. Tired. Miserable.
At the last 10 minutes of class I walked over to her (if you're wondering which I bet you guys don't even care lol I pulled my act together by then...I felt empty as fuck.)
She fist asks me "are you okay?" Or "what's wrong?" I forgot. But it was one of those.
I said yeah and I started tearing up thinking within a week she's not going to be in class with me. So I cry a fucking river into her shirt bc I clutched into her crying.
My crush didn't approach us. But his friend did.
MY CRUSH IS SUCH A BLOODY IDIOT.
He couldn't even ask me if I was okay?!?!?? But his friend could.
I applaud his friend.
His friend will be a good boyfriend for that.
My crush is clueless.
He would be a horrible boyfriend.
Okay I'll make a PT.2 bc I got really off topic into what happened last year and I do t even know how. Tbh I just type freely letting my mind speak for myself.
I'm telling you I DO NOT think before speaking or doing something.
Trust me. I say anything that comes to my mind. I need to learn how to stop talking again all together so I know how to keep my mouth fucking shut.
