There's this really cute guy In my classes.
And I have him for 1st period, lunch, 5th period.
lucky me 😏.
But okay his friend Billy (made up name) is my friend. I accidentally slipped up on keeping this a secret but I accidentally told him I liked his friend with the dimple.....
I should've shot myself tbh.
Like ABORT ABORT.
LEAVE MISSION.
MAYDAY MAYDAY. ONE OF OUR SOLDIERS HAS BEEN INJURED.
I REPEAT. ONE OF OUR SOLDIERS HAS BEEN INJURED.
he smiled and told him in Spanish so I wouldn't know what he was telling him bc I don't know Spanish.
lol @ my life.
Man I really need to learn Spanish.
But anyways once billy told bob (my crushes made up name) I freaked out.
Billy told me that Bob thought I was cute.
LIES. I don't think anyone I like can ever like me back.
Once I have a crush. It's hopeless. It will never happen.
Nada. Zip. Zero. Never.
So I'll let those ships drown.
Ever since he told him, bob won't ever look at me anymore or acknowledge my Presence.
how lovely right?
It's like I don't exist.
I have became casperette.
I am caspers twin sister.
Behold. The living ghost.
I know I'm ugly but he doesn't need to treat me like a ghost. Damn it. :(
We used to be friends and joke around and talk every morning in photography and now it's like if someone brought up my name it's like "Vianna? Vianna who? Is she new?"
Like he probably doesn't even know who I am anymore. He is just another one of my crushes who remind me no matter how much makeup I wear I will always be fucking ugly.
Maybe that quote is true?! "You can't have another love you if you can't love yourself first."
That's the problem because I sure as hell cant even stand myself. I honestly hate every inch of myself.
And nO I am not one of those fucking attention seeking bitches who say that shit just to fish for compliments.
I mean I have those days when I think I'm cute but once I get to school...all my self esteem goes away. Idk how or when or why but it's gone.
Him treating me as if I'm invisible just makes it go lower.
Him talking to other girls makes my heart drop just a bit. And I know it's bad.
I wish I could crlt + alt + delete feelings.
WOAH. I NOTICED HOW DEEP THIS GOT OHMYGOD IM SORRY OKAY ILL STOP HAHA BYE.
