my mom told me she was going out with friends.
So I'm in my room singing at the top of my lungs to very inappropriate songs.
Like....
Exhibit A: Birthday Sex.
Exhibit B: The Way by Kehlani.
Exhibit C: Anaconda.
JESUS WHY DID I DO THAT.
my mom is most likely, probably going to drag me to church now.
I WAS SINGING THE RAP PART TO "The Way" BY KEHLANI.
me: *singing the beginning* (btw I also said the cuss words out loud too) "You so damn important, everything you do shows me you know it, behind it all you are the motive, Don't tell you enough but baby I'll show it, show ittttt......."
*still thinking my mom is gone*
Me: *continues* "he say he the king where he come from take a young queen just to know one, so baby i'mma drive it like its stolen. I'mma fix it like its broken, we can catch a flight out to London, go to the mall, spend a lump on sum, they could try to catch up to us, but they're too busy making assumptions.....boy I know all I do, is stay up all night loosing sleep over you, all I do, is drive myself crazy thinking about my baby..it's the way you walk the way you talk, babe. The way you love the way you fuck the way."
*SINGS THE RAP PART ON TOP OF MY LUNGS THINKING IM HOME ALONE*
Me: "SHE SAID I AIN'T EVEN MADE MY BED UP, WATCH YOUR STEP, YOU GON' WAKE MY MAMA AND DAD UP pssh girl, DIDN'T I TELL YOU AT THE DAMN CLUB? WE GON WAKE YOUR NEIGHBORS TURN YOU BLOCK CLUB TO MY FAN CLUB.........."
*my mom walks in smiling with wide eyes*
Me: *widens eyes and pauses music frantically*
Mom: are you rapping?
Me: uh......no.
Mom: yeah you were *still creepily smiling*
Me: I was singing for you're information.
Mom: *smile fades fast* why are you getting an attitude?
SHIT.
uh ABORT ABORT.
Me: I don't have an attitude.
Mom: whatever haha.
I SWEAR IT WAS LIKE MY MOM WAS BEING OBLIVIOUS TO THE WORLD RIGHT NOW OR EITHER SHE LET ME GET AWAY WITH CUSSING AND SINGING ABOUT FUCKING A GIRL.
lol I swear my family is like 420% dysfunctional as fuck.
Me: weren't you supposed to be out with friends..?
Mom: Well let's just say people don't know how to make up their damn mind.
TRUE TRUE. GO MOM.
fucking slay.
