Words.

Me

When I stutter my way around a sentence I apologize and say that English is my second language.

When they ask what the first one is, I'd say "procrastination".

Sweet temptation for what to come but I keep myself from getting to it because I am afraid.

I am afraid of falling in love because I've seen how temporary it can be.

I am afraid of meeting someone willing to learn how my mind works because that means that they can find what makes me weak and tear me down like equality.

There is no such thing as an apology when the words "I'm sorry" become a script to me.

I am afraid of being left alone yet I bask in the sweet silence that an empty room makes.

I am afraid of earthquakes and seizures, shaking the happiness from me.

I am afraid of depression and panic attacks, somehow forgetting that I'll never get my sanity back.

I am afraid of boys that think they know everything about me. You know, the kinds that think that a slap on the ass will excite me.

I am afraid of girls that think they own the world. The ones that think they are the only girls capable of making a boy fall in love with them. Even if it's true.

I am afraid of my skin color because it seems to attract bullets rather than curiosity.

I am afraid of God because he knows everything about me and then some, which means he knows what my future holds.

I wait and I wait and I wait for an answer.

Then I remember, my first word was "procrastinate."