Words.

They're watching me {TW}

Every move I make.

Every bathroom break.

They're standing at the door.

Hoping I wouldn't.

Silently praying I shouldn't drag that blade again.

I am not sorry at all.

I don't regret any of it.

Because I'm tired of this itch I can't scratch.

This dream I'm not allowed to chase.

Because they don't want me to.

I don't want to be here anymore.

I don't want to live life feeling like every necessary thing I do is a chore.

I'm sick of your idiotic thoughts.

I'm sick of your religious bantering.

Trust me, I love my religion.

I just don't like you talking about it like you've always been faithful.

Neither have I.

That's why I choose not to speak about it.

Because no matter how much I believe.

God believes otherwise.

I'm sick of you hurting me.

Whether physical or not.

I'd rather do it myself.

But I can't.

Because they're watching me.

With their dark, soulless eyes.

They're tracking me.

Telling me when to eat.

When to think.

When to live.

But I don't want to.

They're stopping me from doing what I really want to do.

Because I don't feel alive anymore.

I feel dead.

Completely dead.

My smiles are often fake.

I always keep to myself for god's sake.

I can't tell anyone about myself because then they'll get concerned.

Your love was never earned.

The tables have been overturned.

With the thought of me no longer listening.

I'm done with you and him.

I'm done with your mercy and whim.

But I can't end myself.

Because you're watching me.

Because you want to save me.

Just to bring more pain.

But when you stand alone at my grave.

Will you respect me then?