Words.

Merry Christmas.

I wished you a Merry Christmas today after months of not talking.

What I really meant was that I miss you and I wished this year didn't have to end with us not speaking.

Stop sleeping, stop dreaming, stop wishing that I stopped breathing and stop thinking that I can't see the lies that you tell yourself every single evening.

The night winds down and so do you. As you settle in your sheets you remember every memory we shared between them.

Now there's someone new and it feels foreign. You're in constant confrontation of what you want and what is common.

Common knowledge tells you that you've moved on and you've been gone.

Said you'd stay but you've been gone. Every promise you made is as boring as that damn song I use to sing all the time on the phone. Man you've been gone so long I can't remember how the melody goes.

Every promise you made was as hollow as my heart. In these early morning hours I wished I had a different start.

Man I can't believe I trusted you. I can't believe I loved you.

You see the 'ed' placed at the ends of those words? I hope that shit hurts you.

I hope that shit gets to you just like you got to me, my soul, my mind, everything that I've ever seen reminded me of you.

For months I was a mess and there's pages and pages of proof.

Now what's the use of loving again when it's just going to abandon me, just like you did.

Even when I came back on Christmas Eve.

When I finally find myself a person that makes me truly happy I hope you're at home alone wishing things weren't so crappy. Wishing that I missed us. But I don't. I never will again, not after you gave up on us.

And I hope you read this one day and ask me if I meant the words I wrote in this.

All I'm going to tell you is "Merry Christmas."