Divergent: The Outsider 2

|Chapter 18|

Tobias soft snores are the sound in this room as I stare up at the ceiling, recapping every moment I had yesterday. Too much for my liking happened all at once yesterday.

Tobias had instantly come home and comforted me by holding me securely in his arms, then taking a bubble bath with me which had brought a true state of tranquility to me, making me instantly fall asleep in his arms. I had awoke to the smell of food which made my stomach grumble, I hadn't eaten a lot for the past week. I ate enough for me to benefit from it but not enough.

We ate dinner and then we talked on the couch watching the snow fall from the sky though the big window which gave a great view of the city skyline.

I had fell asleep but then I awoke, which leads me to my current position.

I let out a sigh, the conversation with my mother is still trying to process in my mind. I've always just wanted a regular life where I would have great parents, then when I conceive they would be the best grandparents ever to walk on this planet.

But sadly, that can't happen both ways. I won't be able to have kids for them to be great-grandparents to but I can't have them here, or at least wanting to be here.

I let out an agitated breath from my mouth, I close my eyes as tears start stinging my eyes. I feel them slip through the side of my eyes, falling against my cheek bones, on to the pillow.

I just want to be able to have a normal life, without any worries. But, that is not realistic, there won't be a happy ending all the time.

I bite my lip from sniffling, trying hold in my noises of sadness from waking up Tobias. I wouldn't want him to wake up and be worried about me. I turn to my side and the tears just start to flow out of my eyes like rain falling from the sky.

My shoulder shake as I think of what I could of had, what I could have had with my kids, what I could have had with my parents and brother.

I feel Tobias' strong arm wrap around my waist and my body gets pulled backwards into his bare, chiseled chest making the tears run more frequently, hitting the sheets.

I've never thought how this makes him feel, loosing two of his kids and watching me go through this stage.

"It's going to be okay, Tris." I hear him say, it takes me back for a second. But, I hear him sniffling also. I turn my ridged body around and see tears running down his cheeks making a sob escape my lips.

I wrap my arms around him and he turns on his back, so I am on top of him. He gently strokes my hair. kissing my hairline which also feels wet from his tears.

"We're going to be okay." He says and I look up to his eyes, the only thing that is lighting this room is the faint glow of the city lights peaking through the fabricated blinds.

I catch a glimpse of his sadden royal blue orbs making more tears fall, hitting his chest and he wraps his arms around me tighter.

"We're going to be okay."

+++

Tobias decided to take off the day at work, even though he's jeopardizing his time at the gym since he has a fight next week which he has to train for but he says right now his main priority is me.

The only thing we were able to do was take a shower together, and get dressed. Now, we are laying in the bed in each other's arms. Enjoying each other's companies, not having a care in the world.

"You know I had a dream that same day mom left." I say as I run my fingertips over his chest and my head lays on his upper chest.

"What was it about?" He asks as his hands find their resting place on my ribcage.

"It was about, the kids." I say sitting up sitting on my knees, all I have on is a pair of underwear and one of Tobias' shirts which drowns me in the fabric.

"We were driving and they were in the backseat, Audrey and Adriel. They were so beautiful, a perfect mixture of both of us and they had not a care in the world." I say with a faint smile forming on my lips. "I could tell that you loved them as much as I did, and we were sitting there at a red light, Audrey shoe fell off and I offered to help but you said that you had it. And, oh Tobias, it happened so quick."

I cover my face with my hands, thinking about the dream, about the kids. I knew, I shouldn't have brought it up.

"We got into a car accident and all three of you were dead." I say shaking my head, somehow trying to erase the memories out of my head which if failing miserably.

Tobias gathers me into his arms kissing his forehead, no tears fall from either one of us. I think both dried them out.

After a few more minutes of silence Tobias sits up and stands, stretching his arms out. His face drained, from every type of emotion.

"I'm going to make us some tea, any request?" He asks as I get back under the covers, brushing my golden locks out of my face.

"Any type is fine." I say and he nods his head leaving the room, but his hand catches the door frame and he turns his body to me.

"I love you, you know that right?" He says with a warm smile, I think that is the happiest I've seen him all day. My face brightens up at the sight of him brighten up and now we are both brightened up suddenly.

"Yes, of course. I love you, you know that right?" I say mimicking each word of his and he smiles and nods his head and continues his course to the kitchen.
I close my eyes, hoping to rest some before he returns with the steaming mugs.

I hear the chime of my phone making me turn my back facing the doorway and I grab my phone and see that Christina texted me. I unlock my phone and it goes straight to my IMessages.

Hey, all of us girls decided that you need to get out of the house. Do you want to go with us?- Chris

Depends on where you are going?- Tris

I text back without thinking, I really want to get out of the house. But I think the house is the safest place for me now. It had been off of bed rest for three days now, able to continue my life. I just decided to stay here since my mother was in town, which was a waste of my time.

Just out to the club or something, whatever.- Chris

Fine, I'll see- Tris

Yay! See you at eight!- Chris

What did I just get myself into?