ASHTON: so like when you gonna marry calum?
- *sings* what do you mean? been there done that
you like panties? and is it easy livin with your soulmate and his sassy queen daughter?
- they feel nice around my cock and yes, calum is my queen and april is our princess
do you like to frickle frackle calum or do you like him frickle frackling you
- i prefer to be on top but not as much as i'd like to be on you (-: [JAS I HAD TO]
excuse my language but why the f.uck didn't you tell calum that you're a stripper i'd slap you but i want to hear you answer so
- i didn't want to be judged
CALUM: do you feel like you're livin da life?
- every time i bounce on dat dick
how is it to raise a 7 years old sassy queen and to date a playboy model
- well you see there, on one hand you get parenting and good comebacks, and on the other you get free dick. it's amazing
cashton af?
- cashton af.
APRIL: how does it feel to have two fathers
- too much sex, homosexuals are v loud
sassy queen uh ?
- das me
can i be your sister :') i'll buy you candy
- no
jk ily
how much do you like ashton scale of 1-10
- he taught me how to put my hair up and i met strippers
he's a 21
MICHAEL: can you dye luke's hair thanks
- HE WON'T LET ME OKAY I'VE TRIED
muke you guys are to loud sorry i know it's not a question and so are you gonna adopt a lot of children
- too* and we're gonna make our bbies bc mmmmm bbies
i love you and are you muke af
- i fucked luke on a playground once,
i am muke af
*grinds*
LUKE: so like when's the wedding
- the bitch won't man tf up yet
do you top?
- have you seen my ass i am a power bottom honey
muke af?
- muke af.
SOPHIE: eh i guess you're ok but you still suck doodoo for letting your daughter drown
- i said i was sorry sheesh
what were you doing while your daughter was drowing?
- i was scared
lol who the fuck are you
- ur mom
ME: WHY ARE YOU SO AMAZING
- I DUNNO YOU TELL ME :-)
I FORGOT ABOUT ME AND MY COMMENTS ON THESE LMAO BUT ILY LAI :)
- WHERE'S THE NOSE :-) AND ILY TOO WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CAPS
how did you find the inspiration for this story? and yeah you're fab <3
- i had like a phase of reading 5sos with kids and i realized that it was always luke, michael, and sometimes ashton so i was like oh hell no time for some cashton parents
well you're fabalicous :-) <3
why are you zee best lol
- bc kanye
