Solitude

Three Years and Two Months

2,7758.4 hours.

1.6655e6 minutes.

99930265.6666666 seconds.

That's how much time I spent trying to help you.

I still remember telling our teacher about what you had told me. I couldn't even get the words out as I started crying my eyes out in the hallway, people starving at me as they walked by.

I saw you later that day, crying your eyes out, telling me that the school had found out and your parents now knew. I surprisingly didn't feel bad, only good because I believed in the long run you would be okay.

I was always out of class because the guidance councilor and principal believed that I was a good source of help for you. I missed a lot of lessons but told myself it was okay because as long as you were smiling and laughing it was worth it.

I never anticipated you getting worse. You were getting better in fact, until your one slip. School has just ended and cops, paramedics were outside waiting for to bring you to the hospital. I hugged you so tight before you left and quickly wrote my number on your arm, telling you to make sure you called me as soon as you got the chance.

That was the first night I couldn't get my mind to stop working. I was wondering if you were getting better or if the doctors were treating you right.

You were only gone for a week, but it felt so much longer than that.

I was angry to find out that your parents wouldn't fork out the money to give you the medicine you need.

You had your highs and lows for two years, including getting your heartbroken. You had only gone back to the hospital once in that time period, but not as long as the first time.

You were the same girl in seventh grade as you are now in ninth. Your still broken, and you haven't gotten any better. Sure you've mended your broken heart, but the relationship your in now is just as bad as the last one you were in.

I on the other hand have changed. You opened up a world to me that was hidden in plain sight, that I never would of thought of unless brought up in class. I learned to keep my eyes open for my friends now, looking for the signs so they don't become like you.

I didn't realize until February that I had lost myself. My whole world had revolved around you. I acted the same way you did, said the things you said, becoming another version of you. I ignored what my parents said about you having a negative impact on me.

I snapped out of it when my best friend of twelve years hold me he couldn't stand you.

I made a decision to cut you off, making a huge change in my life. I had to find myself again.

Now months later, I'm the happiest I've been in years.

Don't get me wrong though, I still get a twisted feeling in my gut walking past you knowing that I didn't give you any reason for me to drop you.

If your reading this now, even after all we've been through I hope you're okay. I hope you get the help you need and that your life is good, not a dark tunnel of depressing memories.

I also want to thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes and letting me help others who are going through the same thing. Thank you and from the whole of my heart, and I hope your life turns around.