Solitude

Signs

I've always been the type of person to look for signs. I think it's because my mom always looked for them too. I think I've just seen the sign I've been looking for.

Lately, I've felt unsure of the people in my life and I've felt a little lost. It wasn't until I was scrolling on Twitter like I do every night, that I saw one that read,"Holding onto a relationship because "we've been through a lot" is also toxic.

That's the typical excuse I've used. But truth be told we haven't gone through anything that other typical teenagers haven't gone through. Losing a friend, going to a semi formal, getting suspended, getting into trouble for doing things we know we shouldn't be doing but we do them anyways. So why don't I do anything?

It's because I've spent a good portion of my high school years with these girls. But I know I won't be talking to the majority of these people after graduation so why wait? I've already pointed that out on why I haven't done anything. But I also think it's because I've had two instances in my life where I've said goodbye to people and it's felt like a death.

I had surrounded myself with these people so much that I didn't know who I was without them in my life. I'm in the exact same position now. I give so much of myself to other people, that I don't know who I am anymore. Which sucks so much because people come and go in life and I'm left alone, confused and reeling, time and time again.

But I've seen the sign and I know what I have to do.