(warning: some crude language and abuse is mentioned. just to let you know! love you all~)
his mind was flashing. one minute there was his father in front of him, screaming loudly. and another he was sitting comfortably in his boyfriends arms, head resting in the crook of his neck and slim arms wrapped around him. he hoped that the only reality that his mind was playing was the one where he was wrapped up in his boyfriends arms. but of course, that wasnt the case.
"so what? you like boys now?!" his father screeched in his face, veins on his neck popping out. jimin coiled up, cowering away from his father. he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block the noise out. but his father wouldnt have it. "hey, listen up! thats not right, its not right to be a fag!" his fathers voice rang loudly in his ears. he squeezed his eyes tighter, will power flaking. (a/n ew i hate the word faggot im cringing.)
his father angrily clenched his collar in his hand and pulled him up. "do you hear me, jimin?! i dont ever want to see that boy around here ever again?! do you understand?!" he yelled louder now, and jimin was sure the whole next continent could hear him. jimins body was thrown on to the bed behind him, and his eyes shot open in fear. "that boy is no good! i always knew he liked boys, damn kid." his father mumbled a little quieter now, but not quite enough.
jimins blood boiled. he could deal with his father calling him names, and telling him he was messed up. but not yoongi. jimin will never be okay with him saying that about yoongi. "shut up! leave him alone! hes fine!" jimin suddenly screamed back too his father, voice traveling around the room. his fathers eyes darkened. "what the fuck did you just say to me?!" and then there were fists flying and agonizing pain shooting through jimin face. his father was punching him over and over, and all jimin can think is 'oh my god im going to die. he's going to kill me.'
jimins dad stopped punching and jimin moved backwards quickly, back hitting the headboard. "im sorry dad, im sorry. it wont ever happen again. i- i- i dont- i dont like boys. i promise." jimin mumbled, tears running down his face as his voice trembled in fear. "it better not!" his father yelled as he turned to leave jimins room. before he walked out, he looked over at jimin again. "if i ever seen you two here again, i'll kill both of you! do you understand me?!" he yelled as jimin nodded furiously, eyes blurry.
when he heard his fathers loud footsteps walking down the stairs, jimin curled up in to a ball on his bed. his hands coming to cover his face as his body shook. he cried loudly, gasping for air. all he could think about, was how he felt in yoongis arms. he imagined that yoongi was here, holding him, his chapped lips grazing over his shoulder. and he stopped wailing. because as long as he imagined that yoongi was there with him, he wasnt so afraid anymore.
the next day, was even worse. yoongi had come up to their door and thankfully jimin had been there to open it. but he knew his father was watching. and jimin had no choice. "what are you doing here?" he spat out as he opened the door. he saw yoongis face fall and it made his heart ache. "i- i just- came here to see you an-" but before yoongi could get anymore words out, jimin was already speaking. "why? i dont need you. we're not together. i- i dont- i dont even like boys." he said loudly, to make sure his father could hear.
he saw tears well up in yoongis eyes and jimin wanted to stab himself for what he'd just said. "what? jimin what are you-" yoongi mumbled softly, his arms reaching up to hold jimin. and for a moment, jimin wanted to just melt in to yoongis touch. but it wasnt so simple. so he grabbed yoongis arms and puched him back forcefully. yoongis legs stuttering, almost loosing his balance. jimin mustered up his best glare and spat out, "can you just get out of here?" and he saw yoongis mouth open to say something, but he knew it would make him brake down. so instead, he turned away, and slammed the door.
as soon as it shut, he heard footsteps from behind him. his fathers large arm came up to wrap around his shoulders. "im proud of you jimin." his father said as he smiled widely at him. jimin wanted nothing more than to open his mouth and scream 'fuck you! i dont care if your proud of me! because whether you like it or not, i like boys! and actually, i love yoongi! i love him more than anything and i want to marry him someday!' but instead, he turned away from his fathers face and mumbled a thanks.
tap, tap, tap. jimin woke suddenly from small noises on his window. he got up quickly, knowing exactly who it would be. he just quietly opened the window to let yoongi climb in. the moment he saw him, jimin broke down. he flew forward and crashed in to yoongi, holding on to his shirt as he sobbed. "im- im so sorry. i didnt- i didnt mean a-anything i said. my d-dad made me do it. i- i love you so much, please dont ever leave me."
yoongi let tears slip out of his own eyes as he held jimin close. "stop, its okay. i know your in a bad situation. and im sorry that your dad cant understand us. but i do. and i also understand that i love you more than i have ever loved anything else. so we'll be okay. and one day i'll take you away from this place and we can live freely around people who do accept us. sound good, jiminie?" yoongi whispered softly in to jimins ears. jimin just nodded and let himself be wrapped in yoongi warm scent.
and even though they had to be very, very careful with their relationship, and they couldnt freely be together yet, it was okay. because they both knew their feelings for each other. and thats all that really matters.
//
a/n this was so sloppy and ew. i was having trouble coming up with an idea so i used this one. oh and i vaguely based this off of troye sivan's new music video (FOOLS - BLUE NEIGHBOORHOOD PART 2/3) because it made me emotional and it was kinda beautiful. im obsessed with him honestly. anyways i hope you sorta enjoyed this!
lots of love, namjoon1994 !
