You Can't Save Me..

Chapter 8

I was sitting on the couch with Megan, laughing about this gif of a hamster running around its wheel instead of on it with a caption that says "FUCK the system," when there was a knock at the door.

I jumped up happily and started walking toward the door. Before I could reach the door Megan ran up behind me and stopped me then she whispered in my ear, "Your lovers here." Then she smirked at me and walked ahead to open the door.

She pulled Ashton in the house and made him sit beside her and pointed Calum and Micheal to the bean bag chairs, leaving the only place for Luke and I, was on the love seat.

Ashton winked at Luke and gave me a weird look as we both sat down.

Everyone sat silently, staring at me and Luke and to say the least, it was super awkward. Attempting to get out of the situation I stand up. "Who wants snacks," I question casually.

"Luke, why don't you go help her?" Megan laughs out. Ashton smirks and points us to the kitchen. We stand up and walked in there, still having no idea what was going on.

"What was that all about?" I asked Luke when we walk into my kitchen.
He just shrugged and brushed it off with a smile. I still wasn't sure what was going on, but now I'm sure Luke knows.

We continued getting the snacks then wandered back to the other room. We piled the snacks on the table then started walking back to the love seat.

I sat down, keeping my distance from Luke. He noticed and pulled me closer by my waist, before whispering in my ear, "What's wrong baby?" I shake my head as if to say nothing then move myself back away from him.

I knew he would keep secrets and betray me. I shouldn't have let myself get close.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but this kind of thing seriously gets to me.

-

The rest of the night flew by and I continued to ignore Luke and everybody else. He kept asking me what was wrong, but I didn't give in. I couldn't give in.

I thought they were all my friends, but now I know they all have this big joke going on that I don't know about. Probably about me. They probably only hang out with me out of pity. Or because it's a good laugh.

These thoughts kept bringing tears to my eyes and eventually I couldn't hold them back. I casually stood up and excused myself to the restroom. Once the door was closed, I broke down. No one loved me. They didn't really care. It was all a big joke.

I reached under the counter and slid my fingers across until they ran across the cool metal taped to the bottom.

I stared at the blade for what seemed like hours. "Do it." "You deserve it" "Just fucking do it," the voices kept screaming at me. I gave in. Pressing the blade to the soft skin of my wrist, pushing down, sliding across, and letting my thoughts flow away with the blood.

One by one, I made countless scarlet lines across my wrist. Each one dripping the sticky, thick, ugly substance all over my arm and the floor.

I slid down the door in defeat, with blood staining my wrists and a numb feeling coursing through my veins once again.

-

Luke's POV

I think Ashton left. She doesn't want me here anymore. She kept ignoring me. I really care about her. And the guys joke about it because I told them I was going to ask her out. I just wanted to do it at the right time. And now she's mad at me and I don't know why.

I want to go check on her, but I think she wants to be alone. She left like 47 minutes ago, not that I have been counting or anything.

I keep tapping my foot and checking the time. I have to go check on her. I can't just let her stay up there upset with me.

-

I walked up the stairs quickly, calling out for Ashton. I checked her room, but she wasn't there. I walked over to the bathroom connected to her room and knocked on the door. She didn't answer.

That's when I noticed little drips of blood on the floor. I started pounding on the door. It wouldn't budge.

Suddenly, Ashtons soft voice spoke up, "Leave me alone Luke. I thought you were different."

I could hear the sadness in her voice and I could tell she had been crying."Ash, I am different. What's wrong baby? Why is there blood on the floor?" I heard the gasp through the door, then there was shuffling of her trying to get up, then water running. "Ashton? Ash babe. What's wrong? You can tell me. I just need you to come out."

Minutes later, Asthon came out, wearing different clothes than before. "Why did you change?" She just shrugged her shoulders and brushed passed me toward her bed. I followed quickly behind. "Why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not."

"Then why aren't you talking to me like normal? Why do you pull away everytime I pull you close? Why don't your perfect brown eyes sparkle when you look at me? Why is everything awkward with us?"

She just shrugged and looked at the bed. I sat down beside her, tilting her chin up to look in my eyes. I saw the tears threatening to spill out and pulled her into a tight hug, deciding not to push this until she calmed down a bit.

This time, she didn't pull away. She hugged me back tight and I felt the tears fall onto my neck.

Realizing something, I instantly I pulled back, looking into her eyes. "The blood. Are you hurt? Oh my god were you hurt in the bathroom and I waited 47 minutes and 32 seconds to get off my butt and come get you and you were hurt? Oh my god I'm sure an idiot. I'm so sorry. I di.."

She cut me off. "I'm not hurt. I just got a little cut earlier today and it opened back up." She lied straight through her teeth. I could see it in her eyes. Something was wrong. Begging me to not believe her. Screaming out for help with a bright smile on her face