You Can't Save Me..

Chapter 46

Ashton's POV

Soon after we get into Luke's car, he turns on the radio and rests one hand on my thigh, tapping lightly to the beat, while the other is on the wheel. I sigh happily before I feel my eyes trying to shut.

I try to force them to stay open until Luke's voice interrupts my struggle. "Go to sleep baby girl, it's a long drive." I nod and allow myself to drift off into the first good sleep I've had in weeks.

-

What feels like only moments later, I wake up when I feel two strong arms wrap around me. I stir a bit and open my eyes to the sun right above my head.

"Shh, go back to sleep love. We have a couple hours until it's time to start." Luke's voice lulls me back to sleep.

I feel myself being carried into a building when the sun is no longer burning my eyelids. I'm a bit confused, but not at all worried. I just trust Luke and fall completely back asleep.

-

Soon later, I wake up, actually feeling rested. I sit up and stretch a bit, letting out a quiet moan as I feel my spine stretching.

"That was a beautiful sound, but it sounds better from above you." Luke's voice interrupts from across the room. I look over and he sends a wink and a smirk in my direction. I roll my eyes and chuckle at his lame attempt to make me feel uncomfortable.

Only then do I realize, this isn't my room. Or even his room for that matter. Slowly everything starts coming back to me. "Oh my god, did I sleep all day? I'm so sorry, you had plans today and I slept right through them and.."

Luke cuts me off, "Chill baby, it's okay. We have all week. And you needed a nice long nap." He says with a chuckle.

"All week?" I ask, shocked.

"Mmhhmm," He says matter-of-factly. He stands up, moving closer to me. Soon he lays down on the bed beside me. "I planned a little get-a-way. Evan is there with the kids. My mom is with her new boyfriend. And we, we are at the beach for a week baby!" He finishes excitedly.

"Evan approved of this?!" I ask, super happy, but still insanely confused. Evan never even let me shut the door when my boyfriends in New York were over.

"When he finally agreed, he went out and bought those and told me to put them in my bag because you already have enough children to take care of." He says pointing to a box of condoms that are on the floor in a pile with all his clothes next to his empty duffle bag.

I roll my eyes and laugh at the way Evan thinks. "I still can't believe he agreed." I say, smiling a bit at the end.

"It took a bit of convincing. But Evan likes me." He says moving closer. "Now, let's start this week out right." He smirks out before attaching his lips to mine.

I giggle a bit and run my hands through his perfect hair as he crawls on top of me, never taking his lips from mine. His kiss is sweet and soft for a bit. Then his tongue darts out and slides across my bottom lip, asking for entrance.

I open my mouth, allowing my tongue to collide with his in a sloppy embrace. They dance together for moments before he wins the battle for dominance.

His hands begin to move their way down my body and find themselves resting on my waist while mine pull at the little bits of hair on his neck. He let's out a soft groan then moves his lips to my neck.

He sucks and nips at the soft skin, earning moans I failed to contain and surly leaving a mark before he begins to move lower. His lips meet my collarbone and his fingers grasp the bottom of my shirt. I give him a look that says it's okay and he wastes no time in removing my top and his own and throwing them to the floor.

I flip the two of us over so now I'm on top and begin leaving marks all over his torso. He let's his hands rest on my butt as he moans out my name.

Not wasting much time, he flips us back over, not liking when I'm in control.

His lips then begin their trail down my stomach. Before he can move to low I pull him back up to my lips.

Things are beyond heated when there is a knock at the door. "Room service!!" I voice comes from outside.

Luke rolls his eyes and I chuckle a bit as he stands up, not bothering to even put on a shirt to cover the numerous and obviously new marks covering his chest and stomach before he walks to the door and allows a man to push a cart in.

I crawl under the blankets, embarrassed to the moon and back as the poor man's eyes widen and he leaves the cart and no less than runs out of the room.

"When did you order room service during all of this and why did you scar that poor man for life?" I ask Luke with a playful hint in my voice.

"Well I ordered the food like 2 hours ago. I think he just waited until I didn't want the food anymore to bring it. And I'm sure he's seen worse doing what he does." He says laughing the whole time.

"Now, where were we?" He asks, obviously eager to get back to what we were doing.

"I think we were far to close to making babies to start that back up again." I say giggling at my dumb comment.

Luke shakes his head laughing before silently agreeing with me. Only seconds later, his face gets a bit serious. "Um, I got some food for you baby." He says softly, almost like I'll break if the word food is said to loudly.

I look down and see my shirtless body. I see the fat around every rib and I know if I eat it will start to bury them again. Tears start to form in my eyes but I don't dare allow one to fall.

I can feel Luke coming toward me, but I don't look up to meet his eyes.

"Baby?" Luke asks softly.

I still don't look up, but I answer him. "I don't want to get any fatter Luke."

He takes my chin between his fingers and softly forces my eyes to his. "Love, you're as skinny as they come. I can see every rib you have and it's not healthy. I know you don't care about healthy. You care about skinny. But skinny will kill you. And I won't be able to live with you dead. Your siblings won't be able to live with you dead. I know you're worried about getting fat, but that doesn't matter to me okay? You could be 600 pounds and I would still love you. Weight will not change your worth in this world and it sure as hell won't change your worth to me. Okay?" He let's out calmly.

Those may have been the perfect words to say. All I do is strive for acceptance from everyone. I want to be perfect to everyone. No one likes fat girls, so I began starving. Weight has always been a reason people wouldn't love me.

He told me it wasn't. So many people have said that to me, but hearing it from his mouth was different. It meant something. It's like it clicked in my brain that he will still love me if I eat.

I know it's not a switch and I want immediately be able to eat 3 full meals a day. I'm not going to automatically flip around and feel better, but it's a start.