You Can't Save Me..

Chapter 36

Ashton's POV

The next morning, I wake up with the same pain in my legs. Knowing what has to be done, I slip out of Luke's hold and swing my legs over the side of the bed.

I let out a little squeal at the pain, but silence myself just a quick when I remember Luke is still sleeping.

When the pain fades again, I stand up from the bed and walk around a bit. I then look around for a clock of some sort. I see one on the wall and realize it's 6:03am. The doctor for crazies (AKA me) is supposed to be here at 6:30. I let out a deep sigh before trying to find my clothes.

This damn hospital gown is shit. After searching around the room, I see a bag sitting beside Luke with a note on top.

Hey, I brought by some clothes for you guys. I figured you wouldn't like the hospital gown and I saw some of Luke's clothes in your dresser and thought he might want to change.
~Evan.

Oh thank God. I quickly open the bag and pull out a pair of black skinny jeans, as they are basically the only things I wear other than leggings, and Evan hates when I wear those. He says he doesn't need anymore boys to kill, the list is long enough.

I chuckle a bit at the thought before pulling out a fresh bra and underwear and some socks as well. Then I pull out the plain white shirt. I look around and realize there's nowhere to go change.

I look over at Luke one more time before deciding he's fast asleep. I quickly get changed. Then I pull the hair tie from my wrist and pull my hair into a loose messy bun. After that, I wake Luke and tell him he should get changed before the next asshole gets here.

He groans, but crawls out of the uncomfortable bed anyway. He sees the bag and smiles. He then looks around the room, realizing there's nowhere to change, shrugs, and starts to undress.

"Luke!" I squeal, covering my eyes.

"Oh hush, you love it!" He says as he turns around to look at me, wearing only his boxers.

I chuckle, shaking my head and turning around so he can finish dressing.

Seconds later, we're both dressed, sitting cross legged on the bed.

-

Far to soon, the psychiatrist opens the door, introducing himself.

"Okay, so I have been told you experienced a panic attack, show signs of self harm and an eating disorder." He says calmly.

I simply nod my head.

"Would you like to speak in private?" He asks me, motioning his eyes to Luke.

"No!" I squeek, afraid of him leaving me with this guy. He doesn't seem like an asshole like the doctors, but that's what scares me. Isn't he supposed to be kind of an asshole?

Luke takes hold of my hand it gives it a little squeeze, letting me know he's not going anywhere.

The doctor nods before opening his mouth to talk, but I cut him off.

"I'm not crazy. I'm not." I say defensively. He gives me a concerned look, before shaking his head.

"I never thought you were crazy." He says. "Why don't you tell me about you." He adds, sitting back in the chair and resting his right foot on his left knee.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Tell me about you. About your life. I should probably know you before I start grilling you about personal shit right?" He says, chuckling a bit.

I sit shocked beside Luke. I look over at him and he looks just as confused.

"U-um. My names Ashton. I have 4 siblings. This is m-my boyfriend, Luke." I say, shakily. This guy is weird. Isn't he supposed to come in here and just tell me I'm depressed and cutting won't help and shit?

"You don't have to be afraid of me yunno?" He says, looking into my eyes carefully.

"Why are you acting like you care?" It slips out of my mouth before my brain can stop me.

"I'm not pretending doll. I do care. Obviously you have some shit going on. And I don't want it to go far enough to kill you. You seem like a nice girl and you don't deserve to die by your own hand." He says looking into my eyes.

I basically choke on air at this. How much are we paying this guy?

"Okay, I get that you don't trust me yet, but this is the number for my work phone. I will always answer it unless with another patient. And if I don't answer and it's an emergency, text me. Most patients will understand. I have prescribed you 2 medications. One for depression and one for the anxiety. Now, go on and get home, I know you hate this building just as much as me." He says with a chuckle. "Oh and by the way, we will be meeting again next Tuesday at 5. Evan and I have already spoken." He adds as we look at him shocked.

We then stand up and exit the room, grabbing our things first.

Minutes later, we're in Luke's car on our way back to my house. When we arrive, I go immediately to find Evan.

When I find him, he's in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Evan?"

"Oh! Ash, Luke! You're back earlier than I expected. I'll make more food." He says.

"Oh, it's fine, I'm not hu.." Luke cuts me off.

"YES she is. She hasn't eaten since she's been at the hospital at least." He says.

I cringe, knowing he's probably noticed I stopped eating again. I didn't do it on purpose. I just.. stopped. I stopped getting better.

Luke starts to walk over to me, but I keep my stare on the floor. He puts both hands on my waist and pulls me into him. His body is now blocking my gaze on the floor, but I still refuse to meet his eyes.

"I'm not mad." He says and my entire body floods with relief.

I look up, meeting his eyes, then I say, "I'm sorry." I speak barely above a whisper.

I then clear my throat and step back from him.

"Where are Addi and Sky?" I ask, missing them even though it's only been one night.

"Upstairs, still sleeping I think." Evan says. "But it's about time for them time get up anyway." He adds, looking at his watch.

I take Luke's hand, pulling him upstairs with me. We walk into the girls room together and Addi is already sitting on the top bunk awake and Luke immediately runs over to her, picking her up and 'flying' her around the room while making airplane noises.

I laugh a bit, smiling. I just have to find the good in everything, and Luke is it.