You Can't Save Me..

Chapter 45

Luke's POV

When we arrive at the small café for breakfast I look over and see Ashton cringe at the smell and thought of food.

I know she hasn't been eating. She's not okay. For a while she got better, but then something pushed her down again. She told me that this would happen and for some reason I thought I could stop it. She told me everytime she starts to get better it comes back.

It pushes her back down, even lower than before and each time it gets harder. And each time she gets closer to the end. I don't want to see that happen. I'm not exactly sure how to help her, but I'm gonna start with getting some food in her stomach.

I told her to go grab us a table and I'll get the food. She nods softly and walks to a table in the back corner. I chuckle, it's just like her to go to the corner by the window. My smile fades as I see her pull her knees to her chest and close her eyes.

She's trying to push the voices out by letting them take over for a few minutes. I turn around, not being able to watch as her body studders with shaky breaths.

I get our food and begin walking back to the table. Ashton is still shuddering for a few seconds before I see her thoughts on her face. She's focusing on her breathing.

I want to congratulate her. Good job baby girl. You're in control. I think to myself before I reach the table only seconds after she peels her eyes open.

I reach the table, setting 2 cups of coffee down. Hers is black. Bleeh. Who drinks black coffee? I smile and laugh a bit when I see her reach for the coffee without hesitation. She takes a sip, letting the bitter liquid burn her mouth and throat.

I see her breathing increase speed as she notices the food as well. Soon she focuses on her breathing again. I can almost hear her voice in my head.

In. Out. In. Out.

I can feel her talking to herself and trying to maintain her fear of food.

"Just eat a little bit. Half of the bagel and a piece or two of the fruit?" I ask, really hoping she will.

She nods, reaching forward and taking hold of the bagel. Soon she begins taking slow bites. I'm finished with mine by the time she gets 2 bites in.

After she finishes half the bagel, she looks sick. I can tell she's feeling it too. I feel so bad, but she needs to eat. She needs the food to keep going.

"I can't eat the fruit Luke. I'm sorry." She almost whispers this. She thinks I'm going to be disappointed. But I'm not. Not even a little. She ate. And that's enough for me.

"Ash baby. Look at me." I let out. "Thank you." I add, meaning it completely. "You don't have to eat the fruit. I know how hard it was for you to eat the bagel. And I know how long it's been since you have eaten. I'm proud of you." I finish.

She nods before her eyes widen and she's up, running to the restroom in the back of the small building. I know she wouldn't want me to, but I follow her anyway.

I hold her hair back and rub her back softly as her stomach rejects the food.

"I'm sorry." She forces out.

"Shhh. It's okay baby. You tried. That's all I ask." I say, pulling her small frame into my chest.

"Can you go get my purse from the table?" She asks me.

I'm slightly confused, but do as she asks anyway. "Of course baby doll." I say, planting a kiss to her forehead before exiting the room.

When I return she is standing in front of the mirror trying to fix her appearance. It doesn't need fixing. She would be beautiful no matter what. I sigh, handing her the small bag I retrieved from the table.

She slowly pulls out a toothbrush and toothpaste. I furrow my eyebrows. Is it normal for girls to carry that in heir purse? As if she can feel my confusion, she answers. "This happens more than you would think." She breathes out with a sigh before brushing her teeth and fixing her hair and makeup again.

Once she finishes, we make our way back and pick up our coffees, throwing away the rest of her food.

We finally make our way back to the car and I almost can't contain my excitement.

She still has no idea this isn't just a one day trip.