You Can't Save Me..

Chapter 21

Ashton's POV

After dinner I sent Addi to the shower and Sky to pick out clothes for tomorrow while Megan was with them. They both loved Megan just as much as they loved Luke.

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After a while, everything calmed down, Luke and Megan returned home, the girls and Jake were in bed. I finished cleaning the house and doing dishes and laundry, taking care of Court in between.

At around 2:30 I finally finished and slumped to bed. After showering and changing, I crawled into bed, my dog hopping up and cuddling into my legs. I smile and start thinking about everything.

I can't help, but love Australia so far. I never really had any friends in New York. I mean I had people to sit with at lunch and I would laugh and interact with them, but I never had a 'best friend.'

I was always invited to the big parties and to the mall, but I never wanted to go because the people couldn't make me smile.

Here, it's different.

Everyone makes me smile. Luke is the sweetest boy I have ever met. He treats me like a queen.

Sometimes I don't know what to do with all my time anymore because he's helping so much. No one will ever understand it.

Having 4 hands helping instead of 2, makes all the difference in the world. It cuts the time it takes in half.

And not only is he helping me in that area, but just by doing the littlest things, he can make me smile, and for real. Sometimes we will be sitting and class and he'll hold my hand under the table and I can feel the smile grow on my face.

He makes me so happy. I'm really hoping it's not just the honeymoon phase of the relationship. I mean, I've been in a few relationships. But I've never felt like this.

He fills that empty hole that's been in my chest since 3rd grade with something. I can't call it love. I don't really believe in love, not for me anyway, but he just makes me so happy. And I could never thank him enough for what he's done.

He makes the girls smile, and even him and Jake are pretty close. I know if my dad were still here, he would approve. He would do more than approve. He would see how Luke treats not only me, but everyone else.

I have never seen Luke be mean or rude or even the slightest bit inconsiderate to anyone. This is the man my father always wished for me and I can only hope he's looking down now nodding with admiration in his eyes.

Everything here makes me happy. Megan is the friend I've always wished for. I'll go to the mall with her and I'll be able to smile and laugh and act weird and not feel like she's silently judging me.

She's the kind of friend that is just so blatantly honest that I would know if she hated me. I like people like that. Because I know if I ever do something stupid, she'll tell me then it's over. She won't hold it over my head either.

I honestly don't know what my life would be like if I hadn't moved here. I could be dead for all I know.

Sometimes this happiness scares me. Sometimes I wonder if it's okay to be happy because what if it all gets taken away?

What happens when Luke realizes he can do better and leaves me?

What happens when Megan notices how awkward I'm am and finds better friends?

What happens when Calum and Micheal decide I'm to lame for their friends?

I'll be left in the dark. And not only will it hurt me, it'll hurt Addi and Sky now as well. They have both grown so attached to Luke and after spending all day with Megan tomorrow, probably her as well.

But what if this is my real chance. My real chance at being happy? Is it okay to be happy? Everything is falling together perfectly, but all it takes is one thing to fall in the wrong place and everything could tumble down.

I don't want to let my worry for tomorrow ruin my happiness today, but it's hard not to think about it.

What if Luke's mom hates me? That could be the end. Oh my god I meet her tomorrow. Tomorrow could be the end of my relationship if I don't act well.

I have to look good to! Well as good as I can look anyway. I'll have Megan come early to help me because God knows I can't dress myself casually but nicely.

I can put together skinny jeans and a band top and a flannel or a very classy dress. But I'm not to good at the in between, and that's what I need for tomorrow. Ugh.

I look over at the clock to realize it's 3:46 now. I really gotta sleep.

Uugggghhhhh. I get up out of bed to go take some sleeping pills then climb back into bed.

It took a while, but eventually I drifted off, thinking of the one and only,

Luke Hemmings.