Free Falling

Chapter 29: Crazy Teenagers Thoughts

It had been three days since I had killed Edward. I had killed him. Every time I stopped doing something, I thought about it. How his face still had some colour in it. How I pressed my fingers to his neck, to find no pulse.

I had killed him. God... I killed him. But I couldn't feel it. The pain I was supposed to feel. I felt nothing. No. I felt happy. Happy that Ed was dead! How the hell could I be happy!?

I should feel upset. Suicidal. Pissed off completely at myself. I should be near killing myself. But I'm not. I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking about how to spill the blood of a random stranger.

We were training. I had to kill Envy. Again...

My movements weren't thought out. I didn't think about my attacks. My thoughts were on how Ed was dead. My defense was sloppy. I tried not to let it show but I knew it was there.

Envy landed a blow to my midsection and I was thrown into a nearby wall.

"Hey Kid, you're getting sloppy." Envy pointed out while I pushed off the ground with a sigh. "Got something on your mind?" He asked. I stood up and shook my head.

"No." I lied. He cocked his head to the side.

"You really suck at lying Kid." He told me. I sighed and ran at him. He crossed his arms in an X in front of his face as I jumped and kicked at him. I stayed quiet as he smirked.

"You really do suck at lying." He told me again. I attacked at him again and he weaved through my attacks. 

"Common. Tell me what's on your mind Kid. We are supposed to look out for each other. That's what siblings do right?" I ignored him and continued to attack and he continued to weave through my missed blows.

I couldn't tell Envy. No way. He'd tell Father and then I'd be dead because I killed their most needed sacrifice. I spun kicked Envy and he landed on the floor.

"Nice job Kid." He said rubbing his jaw. "You ready to tell me what's going on in that head of yours?" He asked standing up and placing his hands on his hips.

"I don't have anything going on in my head." I told him turning to leave. Envy grabbed my shoulder and flipped me over his own shoulder. When he threw me, I flipped in the air and landed on my feet a few feet away.

"Are you sure about that Dark? You seem off." He told me with a smirk.

"Yes I'm sure Envy." I told him firmly before moving towards the doorway again. Envy stuck out his arm so it blocked my path.

"I swear if it's about the Fullmetal pipsqueak I'm gonna beat your sorry ass into the ground." He threatened.

"No its not Envy."

"Same thing with the brother." He warned.

"It's not about anyone!" I yelled pushing his arm out of the way. Envy grabbed the back of my shirt.

"So it is something huh?" He asked smirking. I growled and yanked myself from his grip. He didn't budge.

"Envy, let me go!" I growled.

"Not a chance Kid. What the hell is on your mind?" He asked again. I growled. One of my quick signiture lies coming up.

"I don't know what it is okay?" I said crossing my arms.

"What the hell do you mean you 'don't know'!?" He asked letting me go.

"I mean, I don't know. My brain is like a pan of scrambled eggs at the moment so I don't know." I told him again. "Satisfied?" I asked turning and leaving. Envy sighed and walked after me. How? I heard his foot steps. He was trying to make it so I didn't think he was there but I knew. 

I went to my room that Father gave me. I even had my bag. How they got it, I haven't the slightest, tiny bit of a clue. I opened the door and slammed it shut before Envy could waltz in. I heard him growl so I locked the door with alchemy. I was getting better and better at it.

 I grabbed an extra set of clothes I had in my bag and changed. I needed to get out of a freaking tank top. And no sweater. I pulled my t-shirt over my head. I tossed the tank top onto my bed and did the same with my shorts. I felt so much better. Back to my fashion.

I stayed in my room for most of the day that was left. Envy was right. I was thinking about Edward. But not in the way he thinks. 

I had killed him. I couldn't get it out of my head. He was dead because of me. And it was because I wanted to let him say goodbye. Goodbye to the old me.

**Eds POV** 

Bright golden eyes opened and squinted in the light of the room.

"Brother!" Al said quietly but excited at the same time. Ed sat up, wincing as he did so.

"Where am I?" He asked rubbing his head.

"You're in a hospital Brother. Do you remember what happened?" Al sat down in a chair next to Eds bed. Ed shook his head with a sigh.

"All I remember is Anna glowing like a fire." Ed explained. 

"Yeah. And then there was something like an explosion. And Ed... you died." Eds eyes widened.

"I don't feel very dead." Ed pressed two fingers to his neck and then his wrist to find pulses. "Yeah I'm not dead Al. Perfectly fine."

"But you were dead Brother. And Anna thinks you're dead. She said it was all her fault." Al explained. Eds eyes widened.

"You mean she was back!?" He cried them immediately regretted it from a pain in his side.

"She was. Until she ran away again."

"How long was I out?" 

"Three days."

Eds eyes became determined. He flipped the thin sheets off him and stood up slowly.

"Brother, you shouldn't get up yet!" Al cried. Ed ignored him and pulled on his shirt and coat. "Brother!" Al cried again. He pulled on his white gloves. Al growled and grabbed his shorter yet older brother.

"Let me go Al! I gotta find her!" Ed cried 

"Brother, we'll look again tomorrow! It's the middle of the night!"

"I don't care! She has to know I'm not dead!" Al sighed and let his brother go.

"I'm coming with you then." Al said turning his hand into a fist. Ed looked at him with a smile and gave him the thumbs up with his gloved, automail hand.

'She has to know I'm okay.' Ed thought. 'It's not her fault I was hurt. I didn't die. And she doesn't know it. She thinks I'm dead.' 

"I'll find you Anna. If it's the last thing I do." Ed muttered to himself. The brothers ran down the hallway and out the front door.

'I'm not dead.' Was Ed's last thought before bolting down the street.