Free Falling

Chapter 32: True Colours and True Feelings

I woke up the next morning feeling like a fire. Ed was asleep in the same position as when I woke up last night. Al was reading his book under the lamp again. I sat up slowly.

"Morning Alphonse." I said quietly. He looked up and set his book down.

"How did you sleep?" He asked standing up.

"Not good. All I could feel was the burning in my bones." I told him. "What time is it?"

"It's ten thirty. I'll go get the nurse." He said walking to the door. I stopped him.

"Don't." I said as he grabbed the door handle. He looked up at me with a slight gasp. "Please. Not yet." Al gave me a weird look. Well, as weird as a suit of armour can.

"Why?" He asked letting the door handle go and turning to look at me. I gave him a small smile.

"I wanted to talk to you. You and Edward." I told him. He nodded and sat where he had last night.

"What do you want to talk about?" His echoed voice asked.

"About what happened." I told him sadly. "I want to know what happened. But, at the same time I don't. I need your help to decide weather I want to get my memories back or if I should leave it alone."

Al sighed. I really didn't know what to do. He lost his memories at one point. He should understand how I'm feeling now. But, he wanted his memories back. I don't want mine back because I'm scared to know what I did. But, I want to know what I did too. 

If I know, I'll know the pain I deserve. If I don't, then I'll be thinking about it all the time.

"I think you should want your memories back." Al said surprising me. I widened my eyes and looked up at his glowing red eyes.

"But I'm scared Alphonse." I told him looking down again. "I'm scared to know what I did. I'm scared to know." I gripped the sheets in my hands that turned into fists at my sides.

"So was I before I got my memories back." He told me. I nodded

"Even without knowing what happened, I feel like you guys shouldn't be near me. I'm afraid I'll hurt you again. And don't tell me I didn't hurt you guys. I know I did without actually knowing." 

"Anna, we know. We know your afraid. Afraid of what might happen if you stay with us. But, it scares us that you might not want to stay with us out of that fear. You're like a sister to us Anna. And family sticks together through everything." He paused. I guessed he was trying to find the right words.

"And we love you Anna." He said quietly. I gasped and looked up again. "We love you like family. And we know you feel the same. That's why you're so worried about our safety." His voice was filled with tears. He was crying on the inside. Crying on the inside because of me? Why me? 

What was so special about me? A girl who was from another world. Who knew everything that was going to happen and what had happened. I would be completely pissed off if I were them. 

"You don't feel that way. No one ever had and no one will." I told him. I felt a sharp sting across my left cheek and my head snapped ro the side. I lifted a hand and gingerly touched the spot that was probably already bruising.

"What the hell is with you and pushing everyone away!?" He yelled. "You say you've never had a caring family! You say you've been hurt! And when someone offers to be a friend, you act like it's impossible! What about Winry!? Is she just another person!? She loves you! Al loves you! I-!" He cut himself and paused for a minute. He was looking down.

He snapped his head back up and I gasped. He was crying. Crying over ME of all people.

"I love you damnit!" He yelled louder. "That's why we were looking for you the second you went missing! Why we nearly died for you! Why you nearly died for us! That's what family does!" He grabbed my wrist and pulled me so we were looking into each others eyes.

"It's what family does Anna. We risk ourselves for them." He said; his voice shaking while he tried to keep the pain from his voice. I starred at him then look at Al who was leaning on his knees and looking to the floor. Ed let me go and folded his arms on the bed. His face was in them. 

I looked down.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly. They both looked up. "I'm so sorry. I'm just scared. I'm scared to trust. I'm scared to be with other people. I don't want anyone getting caught up the pain I have because it goes to them. And... and I scared of love." I finished quietly. Tears started rolling down my face. That's twice I've cried in front of Ed.

Al gasped when I started to cry. I really was scared. I may act although it's no big deal but, it is a big deal. It scares me. I'm just another scared little girl with no family. 

"I'm just scared." I gripped the sheets at my sides again. 

"You don't have to be scared. Not anymore." Al told me. Sadness was dripping in his voice. Like he was crying on the inside.

"Al's right Anna." Ed said. God. His voice was so sad. "You have a new life here. You have friends. You have a family. You have people who care. You don't have to go back." He told me.

"I'm sorry." I said again. Ed grabbed my shoulders.

"Don't be sorry Anna. Change." He told me.

"And don't be scared anymore. We won't hurt you. And we won't let anyone else hurt you." Al said with sadness still in his voice.

"I just can't let it go. What my life was before. How I was always hurt. It's hard to let it go. And I'm taking it out on you guys. I don't mean to. But I am."

"It's okay Anna. We understand what happened to you was awful but, you said 'I'm starting over. Writing on a new sheet of paper'. Those were your exact words." Ed told me. I nodded.

"I lied. I was still dwelling on the past."

"You need to stop dwelling on the past." Ed said firmly as he shook me slightly. "If we have to leave our past behind, so do you." I nodded and wiped away the tears that were in my eyes.

"I can't believe it's raining again." I said quietly. Ed chuckled.

"Just remember, we can make the rain stop." He told me with a small, sad smile. I nodded before grabbing the brothers arms and pulling them into a hug.

"Thank you." I whispered. The brothers hugged me back and I let the tears silently fall down my face and drip onto their shoulders. They do love me. It makes me happy to know that these two of all people love me for who I am.